Learning from Mistakes and Moving Forward

I've made some big mistakes in my life, and done things I'm not proud of. Making mistakes is a fundamental part of being human. What's important is how we choose to move forward from our mistakes. Failure can be a powerful motivational tool if we approach it with the right mindset. Nobody is perfect, everyone has flaws. It's hard not to beat ourselves up. It takes courage to acknowledge our mistakes and seek ways to make amends. I've learned the hard way how important it is to take responsibility for my actions, apologise when necessary, and do what I can to make things right. It can also be challenging to forgive ourselves and move on, but we can try to focus on the present and remember that our mistakes don't define us; the way we handle them does.

Mistakes can bring feelings of guilt and shame, two complex and powerful emotions that are often used interchangeably, and while related, they are very different.

Guilt is an emotion that people experience when we feel we have done something wrong or have failed to live up to our expectations or values. It is an internal feeling of remorse, regret, or sadness that often comes with a sense of responsibility for actions or inactions. Guilt often leads to us trying to reconcile or make things right with who ever we have wronged.

On the other hand, shame is an emotion that we feel when we believe that others are judging us for something we have done wrong. It is an external feeling of embarrassment, humiliation, or disgrace that affects our self-image. Shame is often accompanied by feelings of inferiority or inadequacy and can cause us to isolate ourselves from others.

When dealing with guilt and shame, it is essential to understand the difference between them and learn how to cope with them. 

One way to cope with guilt is to take responsibility for our actions, apologise, and, if possible, make amends. It is essential to learn from the experience to prevent making the same mistake in the future.

With regards to shame, it is important to learn to separate other people's opinions from your own self-worth. It is okay to make mistakes, no one is perfect. 

Having a healthy sense of self-awareness and self-compassion is essential. Acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses and showing ourselves kindness can help us overcome feelings of shame and rise above our mistakes.

Both guilt and shame are powerful emotions that can affect our lives significantly. Showing ourselves compassion we can overcome feelings of guilt and shame and move forward positively.

Hettys First Halloween Party

Hetty was very excited to receive an invitation to a Halloween party. As the day of the party arrived, she realised also felt a little scared. Hetty had never been to a party before, she got all dressed up in spooky decorations, she wanted to look scary for the occasion.

When Hetty arrived at the party, she saw all of her friends wearing even scarier costumes than hers. Hetty was happy to see that everyone loved her scary decorations, and many of her friends took pictures with her.

As the party ended, Hetty felt a little sad but realised that she had made a lot of happy memories that she would always cherish.  even when they might seem scary at first. 

When her family asked if she had enjoyed the party, Hetty happily exclaimed she had an incredible time trying something new, despite her initial fears. Hetty had learned to embrace new experiences,

 

Committed to avoidance

Whether it's a romantic partnership or a platonic bond, there’s something pretty special about connecting with someone on a deep and intimate level. For most people, the idea of being in a relationship is exciting. They spend a lot of their time thinking about it and actively pursuing it. For others, the thought of commitment can be terrifying. I speak from experience. I find it extremely difficult to commit, and I don't necessary mean to relationships. I struggle to commit to lots of things, such as nights out, coffee dates, and meetups. On the rare occasions when friends or acquaintances ask me to make a commitment, my inner response is panic: "How can I possibly predict how I will feel on that day? Will I be in the right headspace to deal with people, noise, and social situations?" The terror strikes, and I avoid forward planning for this reason, often giving very non-committal responses. I much prefer spontaneity.

My commitment issues are not founded on previous relationship experiences. I haven't felt so hurt or rejected that I am terrified of getting hurt again and avoiding getting into relationships altogether. I feel it comes more from being quirky, living life in the moment, and having a free-spirited nature. I struggle with the idea of losing my freedom and having to make the sacrifices and compromises that come with committement. I get overwhelmed and need to break free, which I know has caused hurt and confusion for previous romantic partners. I've found it easier to stay single and happy than to have to deal with all the confusing thoughts, feelings, and emotions that come with relationships. I don't see anything wrong with being single or not being in a committed relationship. Everyone has the right to their own feelings and relationship preferences.

The problem for me is when I feel attracted to someone and want to explore a deeper connection, but feel like I can't (or won't) take the necessary steps needed to make it into a committed relationship. I find the whole thing stressful and confusing. For a start, I can never really tell whether someone is genuinely interested in me in that way or not. If I'm talking to someone attractive who seems nice, funny, or whatever, I can't ever work out whether they're flirting or just being friendly. It's all way too confusing and leaves my head spinning. They could be giving me all the signs, and I'll be sitting there thinking, "Oh, they're just being nice" or "They're just a really flirty person who is like that with everyone." So I avoid these situations and only find out if someone is interested in me when they tell me or if they make a move.

Now, telling me or making a move is fine when I'm attracted to that person, but it can be awkward if I'm not. I am pretty direct and honest and people don't always take honesty well.

I have always found relationships tricky, but they can also be rewarding and fulfilling. Commitment-phobia is a real thing for me. Writing down the thoughts that feel jumbled up in my head, I can explore and better understand why I feel things the way I do. I know that if I want a loving and committed relationship, I'd have to be willing to make changes and take the necessary steps to make it happen. At this present moment in time, I don't feel ready to take those steps.

I do know that communication, honesty, and respect are essential pillars for any successful relationship - romantic, platonic, or otherwise. And who knows what the future will bring? 

One thing I know for sure...relationships take a lot more than the stars aligning with the right person at the right place and the right time.

Embracing the Waves of Life

I've had the most amazing morning crashing into waves with a bunch of fun-loving, like-minded people! The waves were perfect, and the sun was shining. There's nothing quite like starting the day off with giggles and a quick dip! Running in the sea is invigorating, the feeling of the wind in your hair and the sound of the waves crashing around you. In the moment you feel completely free, for me it's a good reminder that the world is much bigger than any of my little problems. 

The sea was filled with the sound of laughter. Laughter with friends is important, connecting with others is a fundamental part of human nature. I always make time to laugh, whether it's with friends, family, or just watching a silly video online, laughter is a powerful tool that instantly improves your mood.

Squeezing every single moment out of life is important to me.  I put having fun and being happy high on my list of priorities. Life is short, and we never know how much time we have left. That's why I choose to live every day like it's my last, and encourage others to do the same. I do my best to capture as many sunsets and sunrises as possible. There's something magical about watching the sun slowly rise in the morning, or seeing the colours of the sky slowly transform as the sun sets in the evening. It brings me so much happiness and joy, and I never ever want to take it for granted.

Life is a precious gift, it's so easy to get caught up in the daily grind, I like to take a step back every now to evaluate whether I am truly making the most out of my life. If I find myself getting lost in thoughts about my past or worries about my future, I have to remind myself the present moment is the only time that truly matters. Every single time I get in the sea, I feel fully immersed in the present moment.

Taking care of both my physical and mental health is important to me, a nutritious diet, getting regular exercise, taking time to meditate, practicing self-care and gratitude are the keys to a happy life. Life is such a beautiful thing, and it's up to us to make the most of every moment. 

Being Different

As a parent of a child with autism, it can be challenging to watch him struggle to interact with the world around him. For my son Sparky, fitting into a world that communicates differently to the way he is wired up has been a significant challenge for him during his 22 years on the planet. 

Sparky has remarkable talents, he self-taught himself on both keyboard and guitar and like most individuals with autism, he excels in his areas of interest, as well as music Sparks is an extremely skilled artist. Despite his dislike for interaction with the outside world, his love for art and illustration motivated him to pursue higher education and he successfully completed two years at college, three at university and graduated with a BA Hons Degree. 

Communicating with people he doesn't know causes Sparky anxiety and makes him feel extremely overwhelmed, so he withdraws from social situations. This can be difficult for others to understand. They don't quite get the challenges that individuals with autism face when it comes to communicating. 

For parents of autistic children, it can be difficult to watch their child struggle in social situations. It's important to remember that everyone experiences the world differently, it's okay to be different - my son sees the world in a unique way that cannot be changed. As his mother, I try my best to support him and create a safe environment for him to express himself. I don't see why he should have to change himself to fit in with societal norms that may not work for him. He's happy living in his own world, and that's what matters most to me.

It's important for parents to remember that we cannot force our children to change who they are, nor should we try to "fix" them. Instead, celebrate their uniqueness and embrace their differences. In doing so, we can help them feel more comfortable in their own skin and build their confidence.

For my son, this means allowing him to express himself through his art and providing him with support when he needs it. I encourage him to take things at his own pace and not rush into situations that make him feel uncomfortable. With time, I'm confident that he'll find his footing and become more confident in social situations. 

It's okay for autistic people to interact differently. We should celebrate their unique perspectives and support them in finding their own place in the world. As parents, we can make their world better by providing a safe environment to express themselves and encouraging them to embrace their differences.

Illustration by Sparky

Chill the 13th Out...

On Friday the 13th the wild women took part in a firewalking event at Englands most haunted building Chillingham Castle. Watching everyone experience the intense thrill of firewalking, and then celebrating with a hot tub, ice bath wildcamp was brilliant, every moment was filled with excitement, laughter, and unforgettable memories.

Firewalking is an ancient ritual that has been practiced in various cultures around the world for thousands of years. The challenging act of walking barefoot over a bed of hot embers is often used as a symbol of inner strength and bravery.

It's important to note that firewalking is not a stunt or party trick. When done correctly, it is a deeply spiritual and meaningful experience, generally conducted by trained professionals who understand the science behind the practice. The instructors help to prepare you for the experience, and guide you through the process of walking on hot coals. As you step forward you have to maintain a steady stride and keeping moving forward, without pausing, as standing still could result in burns. 

Focus and concentration is required when walking on hot coals, it can lead to a sense of empowerment and clarity of mind, and be a transformative experience. Firewalking is often used as a tool for personal growth and development, offering participants the chance to face their fears and doubts. By successfully navigating a bed of hot coals, you gain a better sense of self-confidence and trust in your own capabilities.

NB. Firewalking should only be done with trained professionals, in a controlled environment, with the right preparation. It may seem like an extreme and dangerous act, but it is actually a complex and meaningful spiritual practice when done correctly. It can offer a unique opportunity for personal growth.

Thank you Logi Firewalking 

The world has enough women who know how to do their hair. The world needs more women who know how to go on adventures!

There’s no denying that looking good is important. But I have to be honest, spending hours in front of a mirror perfecting my hair and makeup isn’t the most fulfilling pastime for me. But when I embark on an adventure, I gain so much more than a temporary thrill, having so many different adventures in my life has made me feel more confident, courageous, independent, and resilient. Whether it’s hitting the road on a solo trip, climbing a mountain, or running into the sea, adventure is where I feel most alive, and it doesn't have to be dangerous or expensive. It doesn't have to involve skydiving or bungee jumping. Adventures can be as simple as doing something out of our every day normal routine.

Many women, particularly young girls, are brought up with the belief that their primary purpose is to look beautiful. They are taught to spend a significant amount of their time and resources on fancy hairstyles, flawless makeup, and well-manicured nails. I think it's high time we shift our focus from unrealistic beauty standards towards more exciting, empowering, and adventurous lifestyles. Dressing up to feel great is essential, but it shouldn't be the sole measure of a woman's worth. The world needs more women who know how to play, have fun, and get muddy. 

The truth is, women are naturally adventurous - it's in our DNA. We are hardwired to explore, discover and take risks. Societal expectations and gender norms often force women into a 'beauty' box, limiting our self-expression and adventure-seeking spirits. It's time to break free from those limitations. I have made it one of my lifes missions to expose more women to adventure, outdoor activities, empowering them to take control of their lives. 

It's okay to take care of our appearance, it's equally important for women to embrace their adventurous and rugged sides. Life is too short to waste all our time and resources on unrealistic beauty standards that are perpetually changing. 

Let's break free from these 'beauty' boxes and create more space for ourselves in a world that's enriched by experiences, challenges, and adventures.

Making Sense of the World

There is something truly liberating about writing down all the thoughts swirling around in my head and putting them out to the world. 

I have ADHD and writing for me can be like untangling a ball of wool, with every word, the knots loosen and become less complicated. Writing things down has always been my way of making sense of the people, the things and the world around me.

It can be difficult for me to make sense of everything going on in our world today. There is always so much going on, my thoughts and feelings get all jumbled up in my brain and the best way to tackle these feelings is to put fingertips to keyboard and write. As I write, all of the thoughts and emotions flow out of me. 

When I write I can explore different ideas, feelings perspectives, and sometimes solutions. Writing is my safe haven. I can either let my imagination run wild, make logical sense of things, or sometimes even connect dots between seemingly unrelated topics. 

The act of putting my thoughts down on paper, organising them, and working through them is incredibly cathartic. It's like a mental workout that keeps my brain sharp. I love writing. Putting my thoughts down in my blog is my way of articulating those thoughts to the world around me, even if noone ever reads it. I write for me, it helps me discover new ideas, explore different perspectives, and find clarity in sometimes messed up and chaotic world.

The Joy of Music

Music is a universal language, it speaks to everyone, no matter where they are from, what they believe, or what they do. It connects people, tells stories, conveys emotions, and expresses thoughts. It has its own language that goes far beyond the boundaries of spoken words.

People who love music understand the power of melodies, lyrics, and rhythms. They know that music can transport you to different moods, memories, or moments in time. I can often feel the beat of my heart syncing with the beat of a song, it makes me feel alive and fills me with joy.

A friend of mine recently offered to create a music compilation disk - just for me! (You know who you are). Thoughtfulness and creativity mean such a lot to me. I feel lucky to have such a wonderful friend, inspired to put together such an incredible gift, and music truly is a gift to the world. Songs tell a story, they can be therapeutic, healing, and inspiring all at once. 

Music helps me release emotions, cope with stress, and even find inner peace. It can go way further than that, it motivates people to pursue their dreams, and for people with real talent, it has the power to transform lives. Songs definitely make the world a better place.. 

I can be a bit of a recluse and music at times has become my closest companion. I cherish the moments when I listen to my favourite songs, I love to discover the beauty and mystery that lies behind the melodies and lyrics. Muisc is so much more than a form of entertainment to me, it's a gift that connects and inspire us. 

I love music with all my heart, it truly fills my soul with joy.

The more you look, the more you see...

As humans, we crave connection, when it comes to relationships, we all have our own preferences and ideals. This can range from finding the ‘perfect’ partner to committing to someone even if they aren’t our ideal match. The classic tale of ‘Beauty and the Beast’ is an unexpected romance between a beautiful and kind-hearted girl and a beastly prince who was cursed. Despite their differences in appearance and personality, the two characters form a bond and eventually develop feelings for each other. This story is considered to be a prime example of how choosing like over love can lead to a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

I was once told relationships based on shared values, interests, and personality are much more likely to last. It makes sense, people who share commonalities are likely to have a deeper understanding of each other, leading to a stronger bond and a lasting partnership. But sometimes we find ourselves drawn to someone who doesn't fit our ideal match. Whether this is due to their personality, physical appearance, or values, it doesn't necessarily mean this kind of connection is doomed to fail. 

Last year I met someone who didn’t fit my stereotypical checklist, taking the risk and getting it SO wrong has led me to know, with no doubt or uncertainty, the qualities I need in any future relationship. I do have a tendency to rush in, heart first, head later. I have learnt from experience how important it is for me to get to know someone really well, and the only way you can get to know someone is by taking things slow. The more time you spend with someone, the more opportunity you have to find out who they really are. 

When we first meet someone, we are often only shown their best version, they are on their best behaviour, and only show the qualities they want us to see. It can lead us to becoming so taken by someones charm that you completely overlook their flaws. The longer you spend getting to know someone, the more likely you are to see not only their strengths, their quirks, but the parts of their personality they may have tried to keep hidden. In reality it is only when you start to see these flaws that you can decide if their flaws are something you can live with, or if they are deal breakers. It was hidden flaws that ended up being a dealbreaker for me, but it made me really appreciate the qualities I admire and need in any future relationship - integrity, honesty and respect.

I think getting to know someone well deepens the level of intimacy in a relationship. When you share your thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams with someone, you become vulnerable. It takes courage and openness to reveal yourself to another person, but it is only when we do, that we create a level of closeness and understanding essential to a healthy relationship. Relationships require work. There is no one right way to go about them, every individual has their own preferences and ideals. 

Another thing I've discovered - 'like' is just as important as 'love'. A solid foundation of liking each other’s personalities, qualities and values can lead to a fulfilling, long-lasting partnership. Who knew finding someone so "wrong" could lead to discovering the beautiful qualities I never knew I needed in a relationship. I still truly believe the most important thing with regards to relationships is to remain open-minded, and to follow your heart, rather than sticking to any conventional idea or expectation of what a relationship should look like.

I'm telling you...

There are lots of different ways of communicating well meaning thoughts or suggestions.. one thing I REALLY don't like,  is being TOLD what to do. It makes me feel extremely frustrated, and maybe even a bit resentful. I think everyone, with capacity, has the right to make their own decisions and choices. When someone tries to tell me what to do, I find it disrespectful of my own ability to make choices, or it lacks trust in my ability to make a good decision or two on my own. Being told to do, or behave in a certain way limits my creativity and ability to explore different options, and believe me I have an amazing ability to think outside of the box and come up extremely innovative solutions to the kind of problems life has a tendency to throw at me - thank you very much! Rubs hands together, job done!

Even the thought of being told what to do brings out my stubborn side. If someone tries to control my actions or choices, instead of complying with their wishes, I become about 1 million times more stubborn and resistant, even be to my own detriment at times, - 'What do you mean you SHOULD excercise, eat good food and sleep well"... (thought to self) greasy burger, late night and slumped on the couch today it is! 

Often people are well meaning, albeit irritating, and I do recognise that there are times when it's important to listen to advice and guidance from others, but ultimately, the choices I make will always be my own. 

The Secret to Eternal Youth

Age is often seen as a benchmark for what others think we can or cannot do, what we should or shouldn't do, and who we are supposed to be. I have lived over 50 years on this planet and everyday I strive to live my life to the fullest, taking on new challenges, exploring new places, and seeking out new experiences, regardless of my age. I have often wondered should age define who we are, should it really that important?

For me, age doesn't have anything to do with who I am on the inside, or how I feel or behave. Of course, it is true that our experiences shape us and each year adds to our knowledge and perspective. But, age alone can never measure the wealth of wisdom we can attain from our experiences. Getting older is often something that people dread. There's a notion that with every passing year, we lose a bit of ourselves and are slowly inching towards the end of our lives. I think aging can bring with it a multitude of benefits. I am really liking getting older, this might seem like a strange concept to some, but rather than fearing aging, I am choosing to embrace it and use it as an opportunity to learn from my many, MANY mistakes and experiences.

With age comes experience, and experience is a valuable tool for gaining wisdom. As I get older, I have a wider perspective on life and can process information more quickly and efficiently. I feel more confident in my ability to handle obstacles and challenges and I am a lot less worried about what others think. I now appreciate the small things in life that I may have overlooked before. Whether it's a beautiful sunset or having dinner with family, I am more grateful and mindful of my experiences. I can look back on my life and see all the things that I've accomplished, my career, adventures, I see raising a family as my biggest accomplishment. My children and grandchildren give me a sense of pride and fulfillment. I still feel young at heart and still have a zest for life, regardless of my physical age.

I truly believe getting older is something to embrace, it's a privilege that not everyone is lucky enough to experience. It's an opportunity to learn, grow, and develop into the best version of ourselves. Age should never limit any of us or hold us back from pursuing our dreams. If we have a passion or a goal, we should pursue it wholeheartedly. The number of years we have spent on the planet does not have to define us, we can choose to be young at heart regardless of our physical age or how old we look. 

I have learnt the most important thing, at any age, is to embrace life and live it to the fullest, with passion, curiosity, and enthusiasm. Our soul is ageless and it's our spirit and energy that defines us, not our physical age.

Be wild in the face of fear

Fear used to hold me back. When I thought about taking on new challenges or new experiences, I'd talk myself out of it, giving myself all sorts of stupid reasons, and then feel gutted about missing out. When I did start to take those initial steps past my comfort zone, it changed my life in incredible ways. I discovered a newfound confidence in myself, even when things didn’t go according to plan, I was still capable of pushing myself forward. This kind of mentality not only makes you feel more empowered, but it also challenges you to push past limitations you once thought you had, essentially expanding your potential.

As I learnt to overcome my fears and take risks, I began to notice that my perspective on life changed. The limitations I put on myself and the assumptions that had stopped me from trying new things, were creations of my own mind. This perception shift became fundamental in all aspects of my life, and I began to approach life with a new sense of curiosity and excitement. My life is now full of many crazy people and wild adventures with a whole tribe of wild women to share my adventures with.

For anyone who doesn't know, Wild Women Adventures is a social group dedicated to bringing together women who are passionate about the outdoors, adventure, and exploring new places or trying new things. Together, we take on all sorts of challenges, from hiking up mountains, rock climbing, or dragonboat racing to wild camping, fire walking and more! We understand that engaging in these activities sometimes requires us to push ourselves past what even we thought was possible. But we do so with the knowledge that we have each other's back, and that together, we can achieve anything.

There's something uniquely empowering about being surrounded by a group of like-minded women who aren't afraid to take risks and step outside of their comfort zone. I have been blessed to meet many incredible and inspirational women who have enriched my path in life in ways I never could have imagined.

Being a part of this group has not only challenged me physically but mentally as well. When you're outdoors trying a new activity or meeting new people for the first time, it's easy to fall prey to self-doubt and fear. But being surrounded by supportive, adventurous women has given me the push I need to overcome those fears and feel more confident in myself and my abilities. Being part of this group, I've built friendships with people from all kinds of different backgrounds. It's amazing how much we can learn from each other even when we come from all different walks of life.

 

All the Wild Women Adventures I've been on have taught me that taking risks and stepping outside of my comfort zone is how I grow and learn as a person. It's not always easy, but with the support of this incredible group of women, I feel more empowered than ever to pursue my dreams, push my limits, and inspire others to do the same.

When you begin to conquer your fears and take risks, you're opening the door to a new existence. With every risk taken, you gain more confidence, achieve more growth and find more ways to learn from your setbacks to keep pushing forward. Rather than allowing fear to control your energy, take a risk, and you never know what wonderful things await!

The Many-paws

Menopause, that delightful time in a woman's life when your body decides to go all rogue on you and leave you hanging out to dry (literally). I'm currently going through this phase, and I have to say, it's been quite the ride. So I thought I'd share a few of my experiences so far:

Hot Flash Mania. I'm talking about the kind of heat that makes you feel like you're standing on the sun. It's like a fever that takes hold of you and refuses to let go. Sometimes it's triggered by something as simple as a spicy food or just thinking about being warm, and other times it strikes out of nowhere. It can be like standing in a sauna, all day, every day. I guess it's going to save on heating this winter. And don't even get me started on the insomnia. I could use the bags under my eyes to carry my shopping back from Aldi. Who needs sleep anyway?

I've been having many the menopause conversation these days, and from all accounts I have only skimmed the surface, and there more to come, (or not as the case may be). Dry as the Sahara you say... 'A friend' of mine recently told me over a Costa and a flapjack, "Its like the bloody Sahara Desert down there,  sex now is about as enjoyable as a trip to the dentist." Thanks, Mother Nature! This may be what triggers the mood swings, apparently another fun aspect of menopause I have to look forward too, "it"s like PMS on steroids, complete with sudden crying and irrational anger," the husband of my close acquaintance said, "she can go from zero to fiery rage in seconds, and all because I left the top off the toothpaste." 

Which reminds me, we can't forget the memory loss, or can we, I'm confused - brain fog, or frog as I described it earlier today. I often forget why I walked in a room, I forget my own name, as well as everyone elses. It's like my brain decided to shut down all non-essential functions in order to preserve energy for all my hot flashes. Sorry brain, but some days I really need to remember where I parked my car.

All in all, my menopause journey so far has been quite the adventure. It's like going through puberty all over again, except this time there are no raging hormones powering it. It's just your body saying, "Hey, I'm done with that phase of life, and now I'm going to make you suffer for it." 

At least it doesn't last forever, and I can look forward to the day when it's all over but for now it's a case of head down, come on body and brain we can do this...bring on the ice baths, the deep breathing and cuddling cats. 😁🙏✌🐈

 

Meet Hetty the Hearse

So, being a bit on the quirky side, and looking for an unconventional way to travel I had a crazy idea of buying a hearse and converting it into a campervan. Today that dream came true, after years of me looking to find perfect fit!

Buying a hearse is a relatively affordable option for a campervan. Many people shy away from campervan living because of the cost, but with a hearse, you can often find used ones for a fraction of the price. They tend to be quite spacious and roomy, so plenty of space to design a dream camper.

Now, I know what you’re thinking - “Won’t driving around in a hearse be a bit morbid?” Nah! I reckon with some creativity and imagination, I can turn my hearse into a unique and charming home on wheels. One of the biggest benefits of owning a hearse is the amount of storage space, well they are designed to carry coffins!  Another upside is it is sure to turn heads, or make people smile wherever it goes and I can't say I've have ever been one to want to blend in with the crowd.  I have absolutely no doubt people will be intrigued by such a unique vehicle and want to hear stories of its travels. It may even start a new trend!! - So if you’re someone who loves to stand out, with a little bit of creativity and imagination, I reckon any old hearse could be transformed into a beautiful, quirky, and unconventional campervan. And who knows, me and Hetty might just end up having the trip of a lifetime!...

Toxic waste

I have always said I am the eternal optimist. I try to look for the positives in every situation and like the song "always look on the bright side of life".. I have learned however, there is a time and place for positivity and a time and place for empathy  and understanding. 

As humans, we all hardwired to experience a wide range of emotions. Sometimes we feel happy, productive, and fulfilled, while other times we can feel sad, anxious, and depressed. It’s completely normal to experience a mix of emotions, and it’s important to acknowledge and accept that fact, despite a growing trend in today's society that I think does a lot more harm than good.

Toxic positivity... this is the idea that we should always maintain a positive outlook, regardless of the situation, and that anything less is unacceptable. While it is essential to focus on the good in our lives and practice gratitude, toxic positivity ignores the reality of people’s lives and circumstances. 

Life can be hard, and sometimes terrible things happen that are out of our control. Telling someone to just “stay positive” or “look on the bright side” when they are going through something is not only insensitive but also unhelpful. It reduces complex and challenging situations to simplistic solutions that do not exist.

Toxic positivity completely dismisses valid emotions that people may experience. The pressure to only be positive can make individuals feel ashamed for experiencing a range of emotions such as sadness, anger, and frustration. In some cases, people might feel guilty for experiencing negative emotions, which can further impact their mental health. It's important to validate and acknowledge people's feelings and experiences, rather than trying to dismiss or minimise them. Listening to what they have to say, empathising, offering support or understanding.

Acknowledging and accepting our emotions is an important step towards mental wellness. It’s okay to experience a mix of emotions, both positive and negative, and.it is perfectly natural to feel sad or anxious at times and recognition of this can only lead to a more honest and emotionally intelligent world.

Embracing Difference

I sometimes question my differences with regards to the world around me. I know how it feels to be in a group and behave or think differently to everyone else. In the past I have tried my best to fit in and be less unconventional. Being surrounded by people who seem to be doing and saying the opposite of what I am doing or thinking can be difficult. But let me tell you, I have learnt something that I'm more than happy to share... it's okay not follow society's norms, it's ok to be different and it's okay if your thoughts don't align with the rest of the world's perspective. There, I've said it! Phew! And it felt good!!

Society puts a lot of pressure on individuals to conform and behave in certain ways. Standing out is brave!  Cultural and social norms are there to hold us accountable and steer us in the right direction for the betterment of society. I personally think this can limit our thinking, and may even stop us from reaching our full potential. Not conforming doesn't mean we are purposely being defiant or acting out. It is more about having enough courage to think outside the box without fear of judgment from others.

Each person is unique and has something valuable to contribute to the world, including their own way of thinking and appreciating life. Instead of conforming to the way everyone else lives, I now embrace my differences, regardless of what society thinks. I have become my most authentic self by learning to be comfortable in my own skin which has given me an immense sense of freedom and an unbreakable spirit.

Not fitting in or conforming to social norms is bold. Don't be afraid to stand out. Your uniqueness is a gift, and you have something valuable to offer the world. So not only should you embrace your differences, you should be proud of them!

In the moment

Living in the moment is a concept that many people talk about, but few put into practice. It is about being present and fully engaged in what is happening in the here and now, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. It involves paying attention to the people and things around you and savouring the experiences you are having, rather than rushing through life or letting it pass you by.

Living in the moment is important because it allows us to enjoy life to the fullest. When we are fully present, we can appreciate the beauty and wonder of the world around us. We can experience deep connections with other people, and we can find joy in the simplest things.

However, it can be challenging to live in the moment, especially in a fast-paced world that is always moving forward. We are often distracted by technology, busy schedules, and the pressures of work and family. We may be preoccupied with regrets about the past, or fears about the future. All of these things can make it difficult to be present and fully engaged.

So, what can we do to live in the moment?

For me the first step is to slow down, take a minute or so to focus on my breath, notice the sensations in my body, and the thoughts and emotions that arise. 

Becoming more aware of my thoughts and feelings can help me recognise if I am getting caught up in worries or distractions,  and bring my attention back to the present moment. I then take time to reflect on the things I am grateful for, whether it is a beautiful sunset, a kind gesture from a friend, or even the simple joy of a good cup of coffee. Focusing on the positive things helps me appreciate the present moment.

I also think it is really important to make time in our lives for the things that matter most to us. For me this involves spending time with friends and loved ones, being outside in the fresh air, swimming in the sea, exploring new places, all of these experiences make me feel alive, fully in the moment and connected to the world around me.

Living in the moment is not always easy, and it takes practice and effort. But the rewards are immeasurable. I find joy and meaning in the simplest things, and it helps me to live a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

Photo credit, Rachael Young 👏