Embracing Compliments

In a world where self-doubt and negative self-image often haunt our minds, embracing compliments about our physical appearance can be a real challenge. What if, just for a moment, we let go of our inhibitions and learn to accept any compliments that come our way.

For years, I've battled with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. No matter how many compliments I received, they always seemed to dissolve in the sea of insecurities. The more compliments I receive, the more I began questioning their authenticity. This vicious cycle trapped me in a never-ending struggle, till I made a conscious decision to change my perspective, when someone complimented me, I decided to resist the impulse to downplay or deflect the compliment. Instead, take a deep breath, look them in the eye, and genuinely thank them for their kind words. Even though this felt uncomfortable, something incredible began to happen. With every genuine "thank you" in response to a compliment, a newfound sense of confidence slowly grew within me. I started noticing how the positive words and energy can drown out negativity. Over time, I began to recognise genuine intention behind compliments. Letting go of doubt allowed me to understand that beauty comes in countless forms and that it is subjective, unique to each individual. Beautiful is not just a physical quality but an embodiment of the way we carry ourselves, our kindness, and the passions that ignite our souls.

Overcoming self-doubt and embracing compliments is an ongoing journey. It takes time, patience, and practice. But the rewards are immeasurable. By learning to accept compliments and appreciate our inner beauty, we can break free from the chains of self-doubt and embark on a path of self-love and inner strength.

So when. you are told you are beautiful. Embrace it, believe it, and let it pave the way for endless possibilities in your life.

A Heartwarming Christmas Success!

Amidst the twinkling lights, joyful laughter, and the smell of home-cooked food, the Community Christmas Dinner turned out to be an extraordinary success. The event truly brought the community together and connected people in the true spirit of Christmas. From the moment people entered the beautifully decorated Mayfield Community Centre, it was evident the day was going to be something special. 

The enthusiasm and dedication of each and every volunteer was remarkable, the aroma of freshly cooked turkey, beef, ham with all the trimmings, filled the air. 

Our chef Mike supported by a team of willing helpers, definitely made magic happen in the kitchen, as the servers warm smiles made every guest feel welcome and cherished. It was heartwarming to see people connecting, sharing stories, singing, dancing and playing bingo. 

After the dinner, as the day drew to a close, it was time for another remarkable act of kindness - the clean-up! Everyone mucked in together to ensure the community centre was left sparkling clean and tidy.

All the leftovers were donated to Hilltop Farm - so Sausage the pig, the geese, sheep and chickens also had an unforgettable day! 

In just a few short weeks, individuals, local Councillors and community groups all helped to made this happen through their generous donations, alongside local businesses, and our MP who contributed food supplies. Every single act of kindness paved the way for the success of the day. The enormous support for this event showed the spirit of giving is truly alive and kicking in Cramlington. 

Every individual who made this event possible are true heroes of our community. Whether it was through monetary contribution, donations of food, presents, prizes, volunteering, or attending the dinner, your support and presence made a difference and made this an event to remember.

I would like to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone who made donations, helped cook, served the guests, and cleaned up, we have proven that combining our efforts can create Christmas magic and spread joy. 

Say YES to Adventure and Embrace the Wild Side of Life!

Life is an unpredictable journey filled with countless opportunities for adventure and thrilling experiences. The mere act of saying "yes" to these opportunities can unlock a world of excitement and personal growth.

For me this past year has been a whirlwind of epic adventures and living life to the fullest.

I found myself walking on both fire and glass, each step reminding me that intriguing experiences await those who dare to try the unconventional, embrace challenges and push beyond boundaries.

I have taken on ice baths, the freezing water awakening my senses, and giving me an incredible rush of liberation. I love the water, I am often in running into the sea with unbounded joy. The salty breeze, crashing waves, immersing myself in its beauty, nature offers endless gifts to those who seek them. For my happiness and existence it is essential for me to connect with nature, it brings me  both solace and inspiration.

One of the most scary adventures this year was embarking on skydiving lessons. The anticipation of soaring through the clouds was terrifying and exhilarating. Skydiving solo was an indescribable experience, a moment of pure freedom and liberation. It reminded me that sometimes, all we need is a leap of faith to genuinely soar in life.

And amidst the wild women welly walking, roller skating, woodland and waterfalls activities, an unexpected adventure found me quite unexpectedly appearing on the BBC for my unusual purchase of Hetty hearse.

Life's adventures can manifest in the most unexpected ways. Embracing unique opportunities can open doors to new connections, broader perspectives, and memories that last a lifetime. Life is full of surprises, if you are always to be ready to say "yes" to the unexpected.

Saying yes to adventure has enriched my life in extraordinary ways. From the adrenaline of fire-walking and skydiving to the serenity of immersing myself in nature, each experience has ignited a passion for embracing the unknown. 

As we step out of our comfort zones and venture into the wild side of life, we unlock the potential for growth, self-discovery, and a lifetime of treasured memories. 

If someone was to ask me for one piece of advice or share some words of wisdom it would be.. to say "yes" to adventure, and let life's remarkable roller coaster, thrill, challenge, and inspire you!

Hettys MOT Adventure

In a small town called Cramlington, there lived a happy and humble hearse named Hetty. Hetty was no ordinary hearse, but one with a big, friendly smile and a heart full of kindness. 

On an unusually sunny winter morning, Hetty was nervously awaiting her health check in preparation for her re-MOT. Hetty knew that this test was essential for ensuring her safety and making sure she was roadworthy. 

Hetty's new best friend, Scott the mechanic, owned a local garage - A2B MOT. Scott was known for his skill and expertise in fixing all kinds of vehicles. He greeted Hetty warmly and took a close look at her wheels, engine, and brakes. With a cheerful smile, Scott reassured Hetty that she was in pretty good shape but needed a few parts and tweaks to pass the MOT.

For the next few weeks, Scott and his mechanics worked tirelessly on repairing and fine-tuning Hetty. Hetty felt like a brand-new hearse, ready to conquer the world again.

With the day of the MOT test nearly approaching, Hetty thanked Scott for his hard work and all being well promised to visit him again soon, knowing that Scott's friendship and expertise were simply invaluable.

As Hetty underwent her MOT, her heart raced with anticipation. She wanted to pass with flying colours. She knew that passing her MOT would show everyone that she was safe, reliable, and ready to fulfill her duties.

Hetty took a deep breath in the testing bay. A kind inspector greeted her and began the examination. He checked her lights, her indicators, her tires, and her brakes. Hetty waited nervously, hoping that everything would be alright.

After what felt like forever, the inspector finally gave Hetty the good news. She had passed her MOT test with flying colors! Hetty was overjoyed and couldn't contain her excitement. She thanked the inspector for his kind words and drove away, feeling proud and accomplished.  

From that day forward, Hetty's journey became an inspiration for others to face their challenges with determination and a spirit of renewal.

Finding True Happiness Amidst Life's Uncertainties

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs at us, and it's easy to get caught up in the notion that happiness is only attainable when everything falls perfectly into place. But happiness can be found even when things aren't going our way.  Life will never be a smooth path towards constant satisfaction. It's important to acknowledge that imperfections are what make us human. Instead of obsessing over what's not working in our lives, let's learn to accept the bumps along the way as opportunities for growth. Embrace imperfections, and you'll find a sense of liberation and true happiness within yourself.

Sometimes, when life feels like a rollercoaster ride, it's easy to overlook the good that still exists. Remembering to appreciate the little things and cultivate gratitude can radically shift our mindset. Take a moment each day to reflect on the positive aspects of life, whether it's a loving relationship, good health, or even a warm cup of coffee. Gratitude holds the power to transform our outlook on life and embrace happiness.

One of the biggest misconceptions about happiness is thinking that it can only be achieved when everything goes according to plan. Life has its own agenda, and it rarely aligns with our desires. Learning to let go of control and surrendering to the flow of life can be liberating. Rather than constantly trying to manipulate the outcome, practice flexibility, and adaptability. Embrace the unexpected twists and turns, and you'll find happiness even when your plans go awry.

Instead of defining happiness based on external circumstances, shift the focus inward towards personal growth. Explore your passions, develop new skills, or take up a hobby that gives you genuine joy. Invest in yourself by nourishing your mind, body, and soul. When you prioritise personal growth, you'll find that happiness becomes a natural byproduct of your own journey.

The company we keep plays a significant role in overall happiness. Surrounding ourselves with positive, like-minded individuals who uplift and inspire us is crucial. Seek out those who radiate positivity, challenge you to grow, and bring joy into your life. Building a support network of genuine relationships will enable you to thrive even when life gets tough.

Happiness is not a destination; it's a way of approaching and experiencing life. True happiness can be found even when everything isn't going your way. By embracing imperfections, practicing gratitude, letting go of control, focusing on personal growth, and surrounding ourselves with positivity, we can cultivate a deep sense of happiness that transcends the external circumstances of our lives. 

Happiness is a choice, and it is up to us to seize it, regardless of the challenges we face.

Moral Obligations Over Spectatorship

Donate RNLI

[Trigger Warning: This post discusses a distressing event].

Today, I've found myself grappling with an intense mix of frustration, disappointment, and anger that I've struggled to put into words after the incident that unfolded this morning... (See previous blog post). It serves as a stark reminder of how our society has in many ways lost touch with basic human decency.

In an age where technology has seamlessly intertwined with our lives, we have become mere spectators through the lens of our devices, observing events as detached observers. When a person found themselves in the midst of a struggle for survival, desperately fighting to stay afloat in the icy cold North sea, people stood by watching, others filming. I feel physically angry at the absence of empathy, watching someone drowning, hearing someone calling them a 'fucking dickhead' as others laughed. How have we reached a point where the value of empathy has diminished to such an extent? When did the desperation for clicks, likes, and online notoriety become more vital than human life? 

Ten calls were made to the coastguard this morning. Whilst others watched, filmed, laughed, judged.. ten people took action to save a life. 

In moments of crisis, our responsibility as human beings is clear helping others should be instinctual, not an afterthought. This incident begs us all to pause and ask ourselves some difficult questions. What would we have done in that moment? Would we have acted differently? Would we have take action to save a fellow human being?

We owe it to ourselves and to future generations to reaffirm that the value of a human life transcends any momentary thrill, attention-seeking desire, or viral sensation. We must strive to restore our collective faith in the power of humanity and reject this culture of passive bystanders. 

Let us be the change we wish to see in the world, choosing compassion over apathy and recognising that sometimes, our most extraordinary moments are the ones that go entirely unnoticed - a private act of humanity, extending a lifeline, and restoring faith in the inherent goodness of people.

Today reminds me of one of my favourite quotes...

"I thought to myself someone should do something about this, I then realised. I am someone."

Thank goodness for the RNLI 

Rough Sea and Rescues

Donate RNLI

With any outdoor activity, risks and unexpected situations can arise. This morning, during a sea swim with Sol's Cold Water Therapy Group, an incident occurred that highlights the dangers of the sea and emphasises the crucial importance of staying together and looking out for one another.

One of the group members got caught in a riptide and were struggling to get back to the shore. Sol, swiftly moved into action and started to swim toward him, attempting a rescue. Thanks to Racheal's quick thinking, Sarah's phone and my big gob we called the coastguard. They were there within seconds. They headed towards Sol first, but he pointed them in the direction of the other guy, a decision that probably saved his life. They quickly scooped him out of the water and went back for Sol. True heroes! 

The incident serves as a reminder of how critical it is to stay together as a group and maintain constant awareness of your surroundings. While the sea can be an exhilarating and liberating place, it can also be treacherous and unpredictable. Group swimming can offer advantages, as there are more eyes to monitor the conditions, assist if needed snd immediately raise the alarm if an emergency situation arises. Thankfully, on this occasion the coastguard was in close proximity, and promptly arrived at the scene. Their presence was invaluable. This incident not only highlights the importance of having emergency services within reach but also seeking their assistance when needed.

While this incident had a fortunate outcome, it also reinforces the necessity of taking precautions before venturing into the sea and being aware of both the weather and sea conditions before entering the water. Stormy conditions, strong currents, and high waves pose significant risks. Sticking together with the group and maintaining a constant visual connection is vital. Wearing a bright swim float to increase visibility in the water is also a good idea.

The sea can be both awe-inspiring and dangerous, often surprising even the most experienced swimmers. The incident this morning serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of staying together, looking out for one another, and being prepared for any unforeseen situations. 

Always respect the sea's power whilst enjoying its beauty. Swim safe, and remember... together, we are stronger.

A Community Christmas

Can you feel it? The soft jingle of bells, the warm flicker of lights, the tinsel, fairy lights, it's that magical time of the year again!

For me Christmas should be a season filled with love, joy, and togetherness, as we gather around the Christmas tree with our loved ones, exchanging laughter and gratitude, it's easy to forget some individuals spend Christmas alone. 

So this year, I want to celebrate the true essence of the season by organising a community Christmas dinner. Loneliness can be particularly challenging during the winter, with Christmas celebrations magnifying feelings of isolation and sadness. The power lies in our hands to create an inclusive celebration. Christmas is often associated with materialistic gifts, but the truest gifts lie in acts of kindness, compassion, friendship, and companionship. Having a Community Christmas provides an opportunity to build long-term connections and create lasting memories. The joy in the air as the scent of roasted turkey and freshly baked pies fills the room. The laughter shared and the exchange of smiles whilst reflecting on the true meaning of the Christmas. 

I have to say for someone who doesn't cook, organising a Christmas dinner feels like a bit of a daunting task, but with the collective effort of a few willing and dedicated individuals, this year its about to become a reality, no one should have to spend this special time on their own. 

Unity in the Sea

In a world that often seems divided, where people from various backgrounds struggle to find common ground, through Sol' cold water therapy group I have discovered the transformative power of nature with regards to connection and shared experiences.  

Every Sunday morning, throughout Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter we gather by the sea, take deep breaths, meditate, swim, and then warm ourselves around a crackling fire. There are people in the group of all different ages, walks of lives, nationalities - British, Turkish, Polish, but despite our diverse origins and limited knowledge about each others lives, the essence of the sea brings us all together. 

As we splash in the waves we share laughter, refreshment of the soul, fun, togetherness and peace. The sea, with its rhythmic waves and endless expanse, has long held a special place in the hearts of countless individuals. Its awe-inspiring beauty and vastness evokes a profound sense of tranquility. Every Sunday morning the sea serves as the common foundation for shared experiences, acting as a source of solace, healing, and inspiration.

Before our dip we experience the healing power of breath work and meditation led by Sol, this helps us tap into our inner selves, quieting our minds and finding stillness. The rhythmic sound of crashing waves becomes the soundtrack to the meditation, creating a deeply soothing atmosphere, amplifying the healing power of the practice, and offering a space for self-reflection, release, and rejuvenation. 

Despite our different ages, cultures and limited knowledge of each other's lives, I find solace in this shared experience; we laugh, we scream, we play and we let go of our inhibitions, embracing the freedom of the water. The only thing that matters is the feeling of freedom, with nature and with one another. Laughter is a universal language, these moments of joy allow us to connect on a deeper level  The sea washes away our worries, renews our spirits, and infuses us with a renewed sense of purpose. After the swim, we get together around a crackling fire with a powerful sense of achievement from our shared experience. 

For me the group is a great reminder that despite differences, we are all interconnected, with nature and with one another. 🙏

You Need to Say Sorry

In the spotlight's gleam tonight,

Brenda, a waitress with heart so bright,

She graces the stage no scenes to play,

In a poignant tale of love's decay.

Beyond the smiles and cheerful cheer,

The play unfolds, whispered clear.

Through the lines and tragic scenes,

A story of pain, the main characters share,

Leaving their audience breathless, aware.

The play's hard-hitting script,

Moving dialogue and actions intense,

Grips the audience souls, makes them sense,

captivated, enraptured, swayed.

The stage becomes a battleground of the heart,

Where shadows clash and love falls apart,

The performances, a masterful blend,

Leaving the audience breathless, on a journey they ascend.

With every line, the weight they bear,

Transcends the boundaries of space and air,

And in the hush that follows each scene,

The story resounds, vivid and keen.

Through the tears flow, cutting deep,

The wounds expose the secrets we keep,

Unravels a truth that can't be denied,

Domestic abuse, lets no longer hide.

Let the story echo in our mind,

Inspiring change, leaving no soul behind,

With this play, let our hearts become bold,

Understanding stories that must be told.

Unique Lenses

I recently visited two different garages, in the first there was an older, grumpy looking, pessimistic mechanic, in the second there was a younger, cheery and optimistic mechanic, when presented with the same car, their assessments of its condition couldn't have been more disparate.

Perception is the act of seeing, interpreting, and understanding the world around us. I find it fascinating how every individual perceives the world differently, through their very own unique lense. 

Some see life from an optimistic viewpoint, where hope and positivity thrive, others have a more pessimistic perspective, where challenges and negativity can overshadow their perception. Our worlds are shaped by these different interpretations and there are consequences of viewing life through an optimistic or a pessimistic lense.

Optimists can have an unwavering belief in the potential for good, they see the world through the lens of possibility. They embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and personal development. With a positive outlook, they appreciate the brighter side of life, choosing to focus on success, happiness, and love.

From an optimistic viewpoint, the world is an abundant place full of serendipitous encounters and meaningful connections. Every circumstance, whether fortunate or unfortunate, is seen as a stepping stone toward a fulfilling and purposeful life. An optimists belief is that setbacks are fleeting and part of a necessary path towards personal transformation. This perspective enables optimists to maintain resilient attitudes in the face of adversity. Finding silver linings even in the darkest moments, optimists often discover hidden opportunities that others sometimes overlook. Their unwavering belief in the goodness of humanity can be infectious, inspiring others to maintain hope and actively work towards creating a better world.

Whilst with a pessimistic mindset there is a perception the world is a gloomy and difficult place. Pessimists often expect the worst outcome and view life as a series of inevitable disappointments. Their negative lens casts a shadow over every situation making it challenging to find joy or hope in ordinary situations. Living life through a pessimistic lense the world can appear to be riddled with hardship, failure, and heartache. Pessimists anticipate circumstances not to go as planned, leading to a sense of resignation and diminished sense of control. Their bleak perception of the world around them can create vicious cycles, as their negative expectations manifest themselves, reinforcing their pessimistic view of the world.

Pessimism can act as a self-protective mechanism, shielding individuals from potential disappointment, but this may hinder personal growth as it may limit the ability to embrace opportunities. Pessimists may struggle to maintain healthy relationships, take risks, or explore their full potential due to a perceived fear of failure or rejection.

I see myself as an optimist in life and a pessimist in love.  My optimism fuels hope, resilience, and my pursuit of positive change, while my pessimism engenders caution, critical thinking, and emotional self-preservation. Perceptions of life are subjective and influenced by our personal experiences, upbringing, attitude, and various other factors.

When looking at the complexities of life through both sides of the lense and finding an equilibrium between optimism and pessimism, you can appreciate the wisdom of both viewpoints, and cultivate a more nuanced understanding of the world.

But this doesn't help me answer the question. Which mechanic do I choose? 

The pessimistic mechanic for his experience and his critical mindset, which may provide a more thorough and realistic assessment of the car's issues and potential challenges, helping to avoid any unexpected surprises in future. 

Or the optimist mechanic for their positive attitude, sense of confidence and reassurance about the car's potential and cheaper quote...🤔

Hetty Adventures. When will enough be enough?

Dreams keep us motivated. They give us a sense of purpose and hope for what could be. For as long as I can remember, I've dreamt about owning a hearse. It was a crazy fantasy that I didn't think would actually happen. I can't begin to describe how incredible it felt when that dream came true, and I became the proud owner of Hetty the Hearse.

From the beginning, I knew that Hetty didn't come risk-free and today, when I drove her to the garage, I was determined to go in with high hopes and a positive attitude. Deep down, I knew there was a chance that my dreams of many Hetty adventures to come could all be squashed.

I was scared I was going to be told Hetty was beyond repair, and my dreams would be over before they began. But, as luck would have it, Hetty can be fixed... it's just a matter of how much I am willing to spend.

This has got me thinking... when will enough be enough?

I still don't know the extent or the cost of her repairs. My heart tells me to hold on to my dreams for as long as I can and do whatever it takes. My head tells me I need to be realistic, not go into debt, bankrupt myself, and ruin my life to make it happen.

I truly do believe dreams can come true, but I am learning along the way the risks and costs that may be involved in pursuing them.

Hettys First Adventure

Hetty the Hearse was always parked in the same old spot, behind the shed in the farmers field. She sat there, day after day, greeting passersby and watching the comings and goings on. She had been sitting ln the farm for years, filled with cobwebs and dust. Every passerby had thought Hetty was spooky and strange, and no one ever wanted to ride in her. Hetty longed for adventure. She dreamed of travelling to far-off places and seeing the world beyond the farm. 

One day, her wish came true when a family came to the farm, looking for a unique way to travel on their holidays. They had heard of Hetty and her distinctive charm, and they came to see her for themselves. They fell in love with Hetty's beautiful and unique character, they knew instantly that Hetty was the perfect vehicle to take them on their family adventures. The family reassured Hetty that being different wasn't always a bad thing, and that sometimes, it's what makes you stand out. Hetty had never felt as proud to be a spooky, brave hearse.

Hetty was thrilled to be going on her first adventure, she couldn't wait to hit the open road. What she didn't know was that the BBC were planning their annual Halloween special and wanted to do something a little bit different. They'd decided to feature Hetty on her very first adventure to the MOT centre. They obviously knew Hetty was going to be something special.

Hetty was thrilled to hear the news and she couldn't wait to show the world that she was more than just a spooky hearse. She was filled with excitement and eagerly waited for the big day. 

When the day arrived, Hetty was full of nerves. She wasn't sure how everyone would react to her, but she was determined to be amazing. She loved the thrill of the adventure, and she loved making people happy. She had finally been given the chance to shine, and she wasn't going to waste it. Hetty drove into the MOT centre with her head held high and a gleaming smile on her face. As the cameras rolled, Hetty showed off her skills. 

But Hetty was given some bad news. She had failed her MOT! Hetty was devastated. She had always been such a reliable car. Her tears puddled down into the drain. 

Hetty was determined to get back on the road. She worked hard, fixing up any issues, and making sure that she was in tip-top shape. And with the help of all her friends at the garage, Hetty was soon back to her old self.

Hetty had learnt that even the bravest and strongest cars need a little help. And that it was okay to ask for it. She was proud of what she had achieved and grateful for the people who had helped her along the way.

And as Hetty drove off into the night, she knew that she was ready for whatever adventures lay ahead. She felt grateful for her second chance, she was now part of a family and ready to start having lots of adventures, and making brilliant memories along the way. 

Learning from Mistakes and Moving Forward

I've made some big mistakes in my life, and done things I'm not proud of. Making mistakes is a fundamental part of being human. What's important is how we choose to move forward from our mistakes. Failure can be a powerful motivational tool if we approach it with the right mindset. Nobody is perfect, everyone has flaws. It's hard not to beat ourselves up. It takes courage to acknowledge our mistakes and seek ways to make amends. I've learned the hard way how important it is to take responsibility for my actions, apologise when necessary, and do what I can to make things right. It can also be challenging to forgive ourselves and move on, but we can try to focus on the present and remember that our mistakes don't define us; the way we handle them does.

Mistakes can bring feelings of guilt and shame, two complex and powerful emotions that are often used interchangeably, and while related, they are very different.

Guilt is an emotion that people experience when we feel we have done something wrong or have failed to live up to our expectations or values. It is an internal feeling of remorse, regret, or sadness that often comes with a sense of responsibility for actions or inactions. Guilt often leads to us trying to reconcile or make things right with who ever we have wronged.

On the other hand, shame is an emotion that we feel when we believe that others are judging us for something we have done wrong. It is an external feeling of embarrassment, humiliation, or disgrace that affects our self-image. Shame is often accompanied by feelings of inferiority or inadequacy and can cause us to isolate ourselves from others.

When dealing with guilt and shame, it is essential to understand the difference between them and learn how to cope with them. 

One way to cope with guilt is to take responsibility for our actions, apologise, and, if possible, make amends. It is essential to learn from the experience to prevent making the same mistake in the future.

With regards to shame, it is important to learn to separate other people's opinions from your own self-worth. It is okay to make mistakes, no one is perfect. 

Having a healthy sense of self-awareness and self-compassion is essential. Acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses and showing ourselves kindness can help us overcome feelings of shame and rise above our mistakes.

Both guilt and shame are powerful emotions that can affect our lives significantly. Showing ourselves compassion we can overcome feelings of guilt and shame and move forward positively.

Hettys First Halloween Party

Hetty was very excited to receive an invitation to a Halloween party. As the day of the party arrived, she realised also felt a little scared. Hetty had never been to a party before, she got all dressed up in spooky decorations, she wanted to look scary for the occasion.

When Hetty arrived at the party, she saw all of her friends wearing even scarier costumes than hers. Hetty was happy to see that everyone loved her scary decorations, and many of her friends took pictures with her.

As the party ended, Hetty felt a little sad but realised that she had made a lot of happy memories that she would always cherish.  even when they might seem scary at first. 

When her family asked if she had enjoyed the party, Hetty happily exclaimed she had an incredible time trying something new, despite her initial fears. Hetty had learned to embrace new experiences,

 

Committed to avoidance

Whether it's a romantic partnership or a platonic bond, there’s something pretty special about connecting with someone on a deep and intimate level. For most people, the idea of being in a relationship is exciting. They spend a lot of their time thinking about it and actively pursuing it. For others, the thought of commitment can be terrifying. I speak from experience. I find it extremely difficult to commit, and I don't necessary mean to relationships. I struggle to commit to lots of things, such as nights out, coffee dates, and meetups. On the rare occasions when friends or acquaintances ask me to make a commitment, my inner response is panic: "How can I possibly predict how I will feel on that day? Will I be in the right headspace to deal with people, noise, and social situations?" The terror strikes, and I avoid forward planning for this reason, often giving very non-committal responses. I much prefer spontaneity.

My commitment issues are not founded on previous relationship experiences. I haven't felt so hurt or rejected that I am terrified of getting hurt again and avoiding getting into relationships altogether. I feel it comes more from being quirky, living life in the moment, and having a free-spirited nature. I struggle with the idea of losing my freedom and having to make the sacrifices and compromises that come with committement. I get overwhelmed and need to break free, which I know has caused hurt and confusion for previous romantic partners. I've found it easier to stay single and happy than to have to deal with all the confusing thoughts, feelings, and emotions that come with relationships. I don't see anything wrong with being single or not being in a committed relationship. Everyone has the right to their own feelings and relationship preferences.

The problem for me is when I feel attracted to someone and want to explore a deeper connection, but feel like I can't (or won't) take the necessary steps needed to make it into a committed relationship. I find the whole thing stressful and confusing. For a start, I can never really tell whether someone is genuinely interested in me in that way or not. If I'm talking to someone attractive who seems nice, funny, or whatever, I can't ever work out whether they're flirting or just being friendly. It's all way too confusing and leaves my head spinning. They could be giving me all the signs, and I'll be sitting there thinking, "Oh, they're just being nice" or "They're just a really flirty person who is like that with everyone." So I avoid these situations and only find out if someone is interested in me when they tell me or if they make a move.

Now, telling me or making a move is fine when I'm attracted to that person, but it can be awkward if I'm not. I am pretty direct and honest and people don't always take honesty well.

I have always found relationships tricky, but they can also be rewarding and fulfilling. Commitment-phobia is a real thing for me. Writing down the thoughts that feel jumbled up in my head, I can explore and better understand why I feel things the way I do. I know that if I want a loving and committed relationship, I'd have to be willing to make changes and take the necessary steps to make it happen. At this present moment in time, I don't feel ready to take those steps.

I do know that communication, honesty, and respect are essential pillars for any successful relationship - romantic, platonic, or otherwise. And who knows what the future will bring? 

One thing I know for sure...relationships take a lot more than the stars aligning with the right person at the right place and the right time.

Embracing the Waves of Life

I've had the most amazing morning crashing into waves with a bunch of fun-loving, like-minded people! The waves were perfect, and the sun was shining. There's nothing quite like starting the day off with giggles and a quick dip! Running in the sea is invigorating, the feeling of the wind in your hair and the sound of the waves crashing around you. In the moment you feel completely free, for me it's a good reminder that the world is much bigger than any of my little problems. 

The sea was filled with the sound of laughter. Laughter with friends is important, connecting with others is a fundamental part of human nature. I always make time to laugh, whether it's with friends, family, or just watching a silly video online, laughter is a powerful tool that instantly improves your mood.

Squeezing every single moment out of life is important to me.  I put having fun and being happy high on my list of priorities. Life is short, and we never know how much time we have left. That's why I choose to live every day like it's my last, and encourage others to do the same. I do my best to capture as many sunsets and sunrises as possible. There's something magical about watching the sun slowly rise in the morning, or seeing the colours of the sky slowly transform as the sun sets in the evening. It brings me so much happiness and joy, and I never ever want to take it for granted.

Life is a precious gift, it's so easy to get caught up in the daily grind, I like to take a step back every now to evaluate whether I am truly making the most out of my life. If I find myself getting lost in thoughts about my past or worries about my future, I have to remind myself the present moment is the only time that truly matters. Every single time I get in the sea, I feel fully immersed in the present moment.

Taking care of both my physical and mental health is important to me, a nutritious diet, getting regular exercise, taking time to meditate, practicing self-care and gratitude are the keys to a happy life. Life is such a beautiful thing, and it's up to us to make the most of every moment. 

Being Different

As a parent of a child with autism, it can be challenging to watch him struggle to interact with the world around him. For my son Sparky, fitting into a world that communicates differently to the way he is wired up has been a significant challenge for him during his 22 years on the planet. 

Sparky has remarkable talents, he self-taught himself on both keyboard and guitar and like most individuals with autism, he excels in his areas of interest, as well as music Sparks is an extremely skilled artist. Despite his dislike for interaction with the outside world, his love for art and illustration motivated him to pursue higher education and he successfully completed two years at college, three at university and graduated with a BA Hons Degree. 

Communicating with people he doesn't know causes Sparky anxiety and makes him feel extremely overwhelmed, so he withdraws from social situations. This can be difficult for others to understand. They don't quite get the challenges that individuals with autism face when it comes to communicating. 

For parents of autistic children, it can be difficult to watch their child struggle in social situations. It's important to remember that everyone experiences the world differently, it's okay to be different - my son sees the world in a unique way that cannot be changed. As his mother, I try my best to support him and create a safe environment for him to express himself. I don't see why he should have to change himself to fit in with societal norms that may not work for him. He's happy living in his own world, and that's what matters most to me.

It's important for parents to remember that we cannot force our children to change who they are, nor should we try to "fix" them. Instead, celebrate their uniqueness and embrace their differences. In doing so, we can help them feel more comfortable in their own skin and build their confidence.

For my son, this means allowing him to express himself through his art and providing him with support when he needs it. I encourage him to take things at his own pace and not rush into situations that make him feel uncomfortable. With time, I'm confident that he'll find his footing and become more confident in social situations. 

It's okay for autistic people to interact differently. We should celebrate their unique perspectives and support them in finding their own place in the world. As parents, we can make their world better by providing a safe environment to express themselves and encouraging them to embrace their differences.

Illustration by Sparky

Chill the 13th Out...

On Friday the 13th the wild women took part in a firewalking event at Englands most haunted building Chillingham Castle. Watching everyone experience the intense thrill of firewalking, and then celebrating with a hot tub, ice bath wildcamp was brilliant, every moment was filled with excitement, laughter, and unforgettable memories.

Firewalking is an ancient ritual that has been practiced in various cultures around the world for thousands of years. The challenging act of walking barefoot over a bed of hot embers is often used as a symbol of inner strength and bravery.

It's important to note that firewalking is not a stunt or party trick. When done correctly, it is a deeply spiritual and meaningful experience, generally conducted by trained professionals who understand the science behind the practice. The instructors help to prepare you for the experience, and guide you through the process of walking on hot coals. As you step forward you have to maintain a steady stride and keeping moving forward, without pausing, as standing still could result in burns. 

Focus and concentration is required when walking on hot coals, it can lead to a sense of empowerment and clarity of mind, and be a transformative experience. Firewalking is often used as a tool for personal growth and development, offering participants the chance to face their fears and doubts. By successfully navigating a bed of hot coals, you gain a better sense of self-confidence and trust in your own capabilities.

NB. Firewalking should only be done with trained professionals, in a controlled environment, with the right preparation. It may seem like an extreme and dangerous act, but it is actually a complex and meaningful spiritual practice when done correctly. It can offer a unique opportunity for personal growth.

Thank you Logi Firewalking 

The world has enough women who know how to do their hair. The world needs more women who know how to go on adventures!

There’s no denying that looking good is important. But I have to be honest, spending hours in front of a mirror perfecting my hair and makeup isn’t the most fulfilling pastime for me. But when I embark on an adventure, I gain so much more than a temporary thrill, having so many different adventures in my life has made me feel more confident, courageous, independent, and resilient. Whether it’s hitting the road on a solo trip, climbing a mountain, or running into the sea, adventure is where I feel most alive, and it doesn't have to be dangerous or expensive. It doesn't have to involve skydiving or bungee jumping. Adventures can be as simple as doing something out of our every day normal routine.

Many women, particularly young girls, are brought up with the belief that their primary purpose is to look beautiful. They are taught to spend a significant amount of their time and resources on fancy hairstyles, flawless makeup, and well-manicured nails. I think it's high time we shift our focus from unrealistic beauty standards towards more exciting, empowering, and adventurous lifestyles. Dressing up to feel great is essential, but it shouldn't be the sole measure of a woman's worth. The world needs more women who know how to play, have fun, and get muddy. 

The truth is, women are naturally adventurous - it's in our DNA. We are hardwired to explore, discover and take risks. Societal expectations and gender norms often force women into a 'beauty' box, limiting our self-expression and adventure-seeking spirits. It's time to break free from those limitations. I have made it one of my lifes missions to expose more women to adventure, outdoor activities, empowering them to take control of their lives. 

It's okay to take care of our appearance, it's equally important for women to embrace their adventurous and rugged sides. Life is too short to waste all our time and resources on unrealistic beauty standards that are perpetually changing. 

Let's break free from these 'beauty' boxes and create more space for ourselves in a world that's enriched by experiences, challenges, and adventures.

Making Sense of the World

There is something truly liberating about writing down all the thoughts swirling around in my head and putting them out to the world. 

I have ADHD and writing for me can be like untangling a ball of wool, with every word, the knots loosen and become less complicated. Writing things down has always been my way of making sense of the people, the things and the world around me.

It can be difficult for me to make sense of everything going on in our world today. There is always so much going on, my thoughts and feelings get all jumbled up in my brain and the best way to tackle these feelings is to put fingertips to keyboard and write. As I write, all of the thoughts and emotions flow out of me. 

When I write I can explore different ideas, feelings perspectives, and sometimes solutions. Writing is my safe haven. I can either let my imagination run wild, make logical sense of things, or sometimes even connect dots between seemingly unrelated topics. 

The act of putting my thoughts down on paper, organising them, and working through them is incredibly cathartic. It's like a mental workout that keeps my brain sharp. I love writing. Putting my thoughts down in my blog is my way of articulating those thoughts to the world around me, even if noone ever reads it. I write for me, it helps me discover new ideas, explore different perspectives, and find clarity in sometimes messed up and chaotic world.

The Joy of Music

Music is a universal language, it speaks to everyone, no matter where they are from, what they believe, or what they do. It connects people, tells stories, conveys emotions, and expresses thoughts. It has its own language that goes far beyond the boundaries of spoken words.

People who love music understand the power of melodies, lyrics, and rhythms. They know that music can transport you to different moods, memories, or moments in time. I can often feel the beat of my heart syncing with the beat of a song, it makes me feel alive and fills me with joy.

A friend of mine recently offered to create a music compilation disk - just for me! (You know who you are). Thoughtfulness and creativity mean such a lot to me. I feel lucky to have such a wonderful friend, inspired to put together such an incredible gift, and music truly is a gift to the world. Songs tell a story, they can be therapeutic, healing, and inspiring all at once. 

Music helps me release emotions, cope with stress, and even find inner peace. It can go way further than that, it motivates people to pursue their dreams, and for people with real talent, it has the power to transform lives. Songs definitely make the world a better place.. 

I can be a bit of a recluse and music at times has become my closest companion. I cherish the moments when I listen to my favourite songs, I love to discover the beauty and mystery that lies behind the melodies and lyrics. Muisc is so much more than a form of entertainment to me, it's a gift that connects and inspire us. 

I love music with all my heart, it truly fills my soul with joy.

The more you look, the more you see...

As humans, we crave connection, when it comes to relationships, we all have our own preferences and ideals. This can range from finding the ‘perfect’ partner to committing to someone even if they aren’t our ideal match. The classic tale of ‘Beauty and the Beast’ is an unexpected romance between a beautiful and kind-hearted girl and a beastly prince who was cursed. Despite their differences in appearance and personality, the two characters form a bond and eventually develop feelings for each other. This story is considered to be a prime example of how choosing like over love can lead to a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

I was once told relationships based on shared values, interests, and personality are much more likely to last. It makes sense, people who share commonalities are likely to have a deeper understanding of each other, leading to a stronger bond and a lasting partnership. But sometimes we find ourselves drawn to someone who doesn't fit our ideal match. Whether this is due to their personality, physical appearance, or values, it doesn't necessarily mean this kind of connection is doomed to fail. 

Last year I met someone who didn’t fit my stereotypical checklist, taking the risk and getting it SO wrong has led me to know, with no doubt or uncertainty, the qualities I need in any future relationship. I do have a tendency to rush in, heart first, head later. I have learnt from experience how important it is for me to get to know someone really well, and the only way you can get to know someone is by taking things slow. The more time you spend with someone, the more opportunity you have to find out who they really are. 

When we first meet someone, we are often only shown their best version, they are on their best behaviour, and only show the qualities they want us to see. It can lead us to becoming so taken by someones charm that you completely overlook their flaws. The longer you spend getting to know someone, the more likely you are to see not only their strengths, their quirks, but the parts of their personality they may have tried to keep hidden. In reality it is only when you start to see these flaws that you can decide if their flaws are something you can live with, or if they are deal breakers. It was hidden flaws that ended up being a dealbreaker for me, but it made me really appreciate the qualities I admire and need in any future relationship - integrity, honesty and respect.

I think getting to know someone well deepens the level of intimacy in a relationship. When you share your thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams with someone, you become vulnerable. It takes courage and openness to reveal yourself to another person, but it is only when we do, that we create a level of closeness and understanding essential to a healthy relationship. Relationships require work. There is no one right way to go about them, every individual has their own preferences and ideals. 

Another thing I've discovered - 'like' is just as important as 'love'. A solid foundation of liking each other’s personalities, qualities and values can lead to a fulfilling, long-lasting partnership. Who knew finding someone so "wrong" could lead to discovering the beautiful qualities I never knew I needed in a relationship. I still truly believe the most important thing with regards to relationships is to remain open-minded, and to follow your heart, rather than sticking to any conventional idea or expectation of what a relationship should look like.

I'm telling you...

There are lots of different ways of communicating well meaning thoughts or suggestions.. one thing I REALLY don't like,  is being TOLD what to do. It makes me feel extremely frustrated, and maybe even a bit resentful. I think everyone, with capacity, has the right to make their own decisions and choices. When someone tries to tell me what to do, I find it disrespectful of my own ability to make choices, or it lacks trust in my ability to make a good decision or two on my own. Being told to do, or behave in a certain way limits my creativity and ability to explore different options, and believe me I have an amazing ability to think outside of the box and come up extremely innovative solutions to the kind of problems life has a tendency to throw at me - thank you very much! Rubs hands together, job done!

Even the thought of being told what to do brings out my stubborn side. If someone tries to control my actions or choices, instead of complying with their wishes, I become about 1 million times more stubborn and resistant, even be to my own detriment at times, - 'What do you mean you SHOULD excercise, eat good food and sleep well"... (thought to self) greasy burger, late night and slumped on the couch today it is! 

Often people are well meaning, albeit irritating, and I do recognise that there are times when it's important to listen to advice and guidance from others, but ultimately, the choices I make will always be my own. 

The Secret to Eternal Youth

Age is often seen as a benchmark for what others think we can or cannot do, what we should or shouldn't do, and who we are supposed to be. I have lived over 50 years on this planet and everyday I strive to live my life to the fullest, taking on new challenges, exploring new places, and seeking out new experiences, regardless of my age. I have often wondered should age define who we are, should it really that important?

For me, age doesn't have anything to do with who I am on the inside, or how I feel or behave. Of course, it is true that our experiences shape us and each year adds to our knowledge and perspective. But, age alone can never measure the wealth of wisdom we can attain from our experiences. Getting older is often something that people dread. There's a notion that with every passing year, we lose a bit of ourselves and are slowly inching towards the end of our lives. I think aging can bring with it a multitude of benefits. I am really liking getting older, this might seem like a strange concept to some, but rather than fearing aging, I am choosing to embrace it and use it as an opportunity to learn from my many, MANY mistakes and experiences.

With age comes experience, and experience is a valuable tool for gaining wisdom. As I get older, I have a wider perspective on life and can process information more quickly and efficiently. I feel more confident in my ability to handle obstacles and challenges and I am a lot less worried about what others think. I now appreciate the small things in life that I may have overlooked before. Whether it's a beautiful sunset or having dinner with family, I am more grateful and mindful of my experiences. I can look back on my life and see all the things that I've accomplished, my career, adventures, I see raising a family as my biggest accomplishment. My children and grandchildren give me a sense of pride and fulfillment. I still feel young at heart and still have a zest for life, regardless of my physical age.

I truly believe getting older is something to embrace, it's a privilege that not everyone is lucky enough to experience. It's an opportunity to learn, grow, and develop into the best version of ourselves. Age should never limit any of us or hold us back from pursuing our dreams. If we have a passion or a goal, we should pursue it wholeheartedly. The number of years we have spent on the planet does not have to define us, we can choose to be young at heart regardless of our physical age or how old we look. 

I have learnt the most important thing, at any age, is to embrace life and live it to the fullest, with passion, curiosity, and enthusiasm. Our soul is ageless and it's our spirit and energy that defines us, not our physical age.

Be wild in the face of fear

Fear used to hold me back. When I thought about taking on new challenges or new experiences, I'd talk myself out of it, giving myself all sorts of stupid reasons, and then feel gutted about missing out. When I did start to take those initial steps past my comfort zone, it changed my life in incredible ways. I discovered a newfound confidence in myself, even when things didn’t go according to plan, I was still capable of pushing myself forward. This kind of mentality not only makes you feel more empowered, but it also challenges you to push past limitations you once thought you had, essentially expanding your potential.

As I learnt to overcome my fears and take risks, I began to notice that my perspective on life changed. The limitations I put on myself and the assumptions that had stopped me from trying new things, were creations of my own mind. This perception shift became fundamental in all aspects of my life, and I began to approach life with a new sense of curiosity and excitement. My life is now full of many crazy people and wild adventures with a whole tribe of wild women to share my adventures with.

For anyone who doesn't know, Wild Women Adventures is a social group dedicated to bringing together women who are passionate about the outdoors, adventure, and exploring new places or trying new things. Together, we take on all sorts of challenges, from hiking up mountains, rock climbing, or dragonboat racing to wild camping, fire walking and more! We understand that engaging in these activities sometimes requires us to push ourselves past what even we thought was possible. But we do so with the knowledge that we have each other's back, and that together, we can achieve anything.

There's something uniquely empowering about being surrounded by a group of like-minded women who aren't afraid to take risks and step outside of their comfort zone. I have been blessed to meet many incredible and inspirational women who have enriched my path in life in ways I never could have imagined.

Being a part of this group has not only challenged me physically but mentally as well. When you're outdoors trying a new activity or meeting new people for the first time, it's easy to fall prey to self-doubt and fear. But being surrounded by supportive, adventurous women has given me the push I need to overcome those fears and feel more confident in myself and my abilities. Being part of this group, I've built friendships with people from all kinds of different backgrounds. It's amazing how much we can learn from each other even when we come from all different walks of life.

 

All the Wild Women Adventures I've been on have taught me that taking risks and stepping outside of my comfort zone is how I grow and learn as a person. It's not always easy, but with the support of this incredible group of women, I feel more empowered than ever to pursue my dreams, push my limits, and inspire others to do the same.

When you begin to conquer your fears and take risks, you're opening the door to a new existence. With every risk taken, you gain more confidence, achieve more growth and find more ways to learn from your setbacks to keep pushing forward. Rather than allowing fear to control your energy, take a risk, and you never know what wonderful things await!