When I am feeling down or low I like to write. This serves two purposes - it helps me make sense of my thoughts and it's a good way to get the feelings out. I've just spent the last hour reading poems I penned during an excruciatingly painful point in my life. It felt I was looking at the words of a stranger - yet every line had been written by me!
Life comes with many ups and downs. As I was reading, I could remember feeling like my heart had been torn in two. Emotional wounds can hurt as much as physical ones, at the time I'd thought I would never recover. - But I did!
Reading thoughts from what feels now like a lifetime ago, made me realise just how much I've changed, and how much stronger I've become.
I look back at that time now with maturity and insight. I see the situation very differently to how I saw it then. I'd made rash decisions based on fear and assumptions - anything but rational thought. I'd thought my whole world was falling apart and could easily have shut down, refused to trust again, refused to love again and lived in fear of being hurt - but I didn't, and life moved on.
We can be lots of different versions of ourseves thoughout the course of our lives, and we won't always recognise the person we used to be. Reading thoughts from a younger version of me has taught me so much about myself. The hard times have given me strength, resilience and a real appreciation for the good times in my life.
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.
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