Be the bright in someone day.

It is quite common to think positively about people around us and appreciate their good qualities, yet keep those thoughts to ourselves. We worry about being judged, or not wanting to make the other person feel uncomfortable. I think withholding positive thoughts could not only be detrimental to others but also too ourselves.

I've found telling people the nice things I think about them can have a significantly positive impact on their lives, a simple compliment, a kind word, can brighten someone’s day. It makes people smile, and who knows it may even provide them with the motivation and encouragement they need. Complimenting friends on their kindness and empathy, telling friends or family members how much you appreciate their support, and saying out loud the nice thoughts you have could potentially make a huge difference to their lives.

When we keep our positive thoughts to ourselves, we also deprive ourselves of the potential for growth and learning, sharing my thoughts with others, often leads to more authentic conversations, connections, and a better understanding of each other. Expressing positive thoughts and feelings is a game-changer, it helps me notice peoples strengths and good qualities. It can feel awkward or difficult at first, but it becomes easier with practice, compliment someone on their appearance, thank someone for their help, or congratulate them on their achievements.

 

So next time you think something nice about someone even just for a moment, try to remember sharing your positive thoughts really could make a whole world of difference to that someone. 

Lessons

Life gives you many lessons to learn...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. 

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. 

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. 

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts. 

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something. 

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. 

I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it. 

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. 

I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think. 

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. 

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't. 

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. 

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. 

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. 

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.  

I've learned that my friends and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. 

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.  

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. 

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. 

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. 

I've learned that you should never tell a child their dreams won't come true, what a tragedy it would be if they believed it. 

I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. 

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. 

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. 

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.  

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. 

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions. 

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. 

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. 

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. 

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. 

I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love. 

I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get further in life. 

I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control. 

I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, you can feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most. 

I've learned that your life can be changed in a moment by people who don't even know you. 

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. 

I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.  

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. 

I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when over used. 

I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe. 

I've learned the only person to ever be is me.

Soulmates

Soul Mates - It's just a question of love?

Sometimes I feel like other people see me as some kind of alien because I'm single. In movies, tv, books or magazines, song lyrics, poems, it's all boy meets girl, girl meets girl, boy meets boy, couples, relationships... then, at the end of the book, the story, the film the ones with happy endings are the ones where two become one, people find love and off they go, hand in hand, walking into the sunset. Obviously happy ever after...

All this is drummed into our heads at such an early age, this is the way life is meant to be, love is meant to be! Well mine isn't, it doesn't quite fit, so... obviously I must be an alien!

I am not single because I no longer believe in love, I actually believe the reason I'm single is because I do! I want to experience the love you read about in books. I want it to hit me like a thunder bolt out the blue, just like in movies. I want the fire. I want the passion. I want the butterflies....but does this really happen? Am I asking too much?

I have often thought about what I would want in a soul mate.  A while ago, after a date, but, no spark or interest to arrange a second,  I was asked by a friend "What is it you actually want?"  I find writing a way of clearing my mind, sorting out my thoughts. I write letters, songs, poetry, anything to make sense of the thoughts revolving, spinning, jumping around in my head, so after much consideration I put pen to paper...

Someone - by Maggie Martin

I want...

Someone who gives me butterflies when I am going to see or spend time with them.
Someone to share those special moments with like splashing in the sea, seeing a shooting star, or an amazing view, or sharing a happy thought or memory.
Someone I feel comfortable with to be myself, whether I feel hyper, happy, sad, loud, quiet, whatever.
Someone who lights up when someone else mentions my name and isn’t afraid to come and give me a hug and show me or others how they feel.
Someone I can share laughs with and have conversations about life, love, dreams and aspirations.
Someone honest and genuine and not afraid to say if they disagree or don’t share my opinion.
Someone emotionally strong and independent.
Someone to cuddle in front of a warm fire and listen to music with.
Someone who will listen and support me to make my own decisions rather than tell me what I should do.
Someone who wants to get to know me and understand me inside and out.
Someone who trust me to do my own things and make my own mistakes.
Someone who loves and respects me and deserves all these things in return and more
and I want to be that someone for someone too.

So, should I believe the movies, the stories, the poems, the books. 

Do soul mates really exist? 

Do they come with fire and passion?
Have you looked at someone and felt like you could melt in their eyes? 

Has your stomach flipped when you've thought about them or had butterflies when someone mentions their name? 

Have you ever longed, ached, yearned to be with someone so much you feel sick, the pain you feel inside is physical and the only cure is to see their smile, hear their voice, touch their skin. 
There are over 8 BILLION people on this planet, so what do you reckon are the chances of me meeting someone who wants to be my someone too?

" Everyone looks for someone to hold, who knows how to love you without being told, somebody tell me why I'm on my own, if there's a soul mate for everyone." Natasha Bedingfield 

Living Forward

When I am feeling down or low I like to write. This serves two purposes - it helps me make sense of my thoughts and it's a good way to get the feelings out. I've just spent the last hour reading poems I penned during an excruciatingly painful point in my life. It felt I was looking at the words of a stranger - yet every line had been written by me! 

Life comes with many ups and downs. As I was reading, I could remember feeling like my heart had been torn in two. Emotional wounds can hurt as much as physical ones, at the time I'd thought I would never recover. - But I did! 

Reading thoughts from what feels now like a lifetime ago, made me realise just how much I've changed, and how much stronger I've become.

I look back at that time now with maturity and insight. I see the situation very differently to how I saw it then. I'd made rash decisions based on fear and assumptions - anything but rational thought. I'd thought my whole world was falling apart and could easily have shut down, refused to trust again, refused to love again and lived in fear of being hurt - but I didn't, and life moved on. 

We can be lots of different versions of ourseves thoughout the course of our lives, and we won't always recognise the person we used to be. Reading thoughts from a younger version of me has taught me so much about myself. The hard times have given me strength, resilience and a real appreciation for the good times in my life. 

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward. 

North East Skinny Dip 2023 - in the waves, fully in the moment, feeling grateful and embracing life.

Over the last few years I've taken part in the North East Skinny Dip. My first one was just over 8 years ago with around 300 other people. Last weekend there were closer to 1500 incredible people of all different shapes, sizes, ages, abilities taking part, quite an achievement in this day and age when so many of us live with immense shame about our bodies and about the way we look. We are programmed from an early age on how the beauty industry says we should look, how society says we should behave... and shame on you if you don't conform, shame on you if you dare to be, act or look different. 

In the midst of hundreds of naked people, with the sound of the crashing waves, ecstatic laughter in the air and the coldness of the sea splashing against my naked fleshy parts that are usually kept hidden from the world, I felt incredible! I felt free from shame, free from judgement, free from a society that overtly sexualises our beautiful naked bodies. I swam, I splashed, I sang and I danced in the waves. 

From my very first cold naked dip I have strived to capture that feeling and take it with me throughout every aspect of my life. I do my best to live a life, free of body shame, liberated from the judgment of others, constantly learning, and not only feeling content with my lumpy bumpy jiggles and wiggles, but learning to love them - just like in the waves, fully in the moment, feeling grateful and embracing life. 

It's not easy to let go of the weight of other people's judgments and yes it can be tough to step of your comfort zone, but oh boy is it worth it when you do. It makes me feel sad to think there are people out there who will never get to experience the immence sense of freedom it brings, feeling that discomfort and still taking the step.

So, after my most recent skinny dip I wanted to respond to the many people who looked at me kinda funny and asked, "so why do you do it?" My question to you is...

Why don't you?