Finding Wonderland

In an old rundown bar, just South of The Toon,  I met a heart, that brightens every room.  

With laughter that twinkles, like stars in my eyes. My world changing forever was such a surprise.

Each glance is a potion, each word a delight, my life has turned magic, and everything feels right.  

I'm filled with wonder, when we walk hand in hand. A dreamland of joy, when together we stand.  

So here’s to a New Year, as bright as can be, you by my side, is a real fantasy.  

With every heartbeat, my spirit takes flight, you are my wonder, my joy, and my light.

Unexpected love

In the last two months, I didn't expect to find, a love that’s bonkers and one of a kind,  where laughter echoes, and giggles abound, in a blissful bubble, we both be can be found.  

Not just a fling with a “meh” and a sigh,  but a mate for life who makes time fly, with a cheeky grin that never falls flat, as we exchange silly jokes, laugh and chat.  

I've fallen for your quirks, and your funny little ways, from your Johnny Cordon dance moves to your hilarious sayings,  a buddy who joins in my childlike play, and knows how to cheer up a dull, rainy day.  

No healing required, no dramas or tears, just inside jokes, wine, bollocks and beers. Our love life is fun, and wild, and free, a perfect blend of giggles and glee.

You've brightened my days and filled them with laughter,

You've tightened my thighs, you're a sexual master.

You've torn down my defenses, you've opened my heart,

You're the love of my lifetime, and have been from the start. 

I love you Johnny Cordon 

By Maggie Martin 

Love v Limerance

Limerance is a term initially coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in the late 1970s, it can best be described as an intense, obsessive infatuation with someone. That swirl of butterflies, sleepless nights, and constant daydreaming about the object of your affection. When I think back to some of my youthful crushes and the early days of relationships, I can easily recall a dizzying rush of emotions, the whirlwind of thoughts racing through my head at all hours of the day, none of which lasted for very long.

For me, limerence is particularly relevant due to my autism and ADHD. I've come to learn that these traits can heighten emotional intensity and obsession, making it easier to become engrossed in the idea of someone. Limerence is characterised by longing and uncertainty. Am I on their mind? Do they feel the same way? The highs can be exhilarating, but they can come with crippling anxiety and insecurity.

Love on the otherhand feels more grounded and enduring. It’s comforting, filled with trust, and often involves a deep appreciation for the other person’s quirks, flaws, and virtues alike.

In my relationship, there’s been an undeniable sense of security and a mutual desire to grow together. Our connection has progressed beyond the initial spark of attraction, and developed into companionship and understanding, both of which I deeply cherish.

Love allows for vulnerability. It nurtures honesty and creates a safe space where both partners can navigate the ups and downs of life together. Unlike the fireworks of limerence, love often feels like a warm embrace on a chilly evening, steady and reassuring. It’s not that love lacks excitement, rather, it evolves into something rich and fulfilling over time.

Love v Limerence. There have been times in my life when I’ve had to distinguish between these two emotions. At the start of our relationship a part of me felt drawn to my partner with an intensity that left my heart racing. I have also recognised elements of limerence in him, in full swing, and had to remind myself of the deeper connection we are building. 

I fully understand my autism and ADHD shape my emotional responses, especially during the early stages of our relationship. It’s easy to get swept away in the initial allure, I’m learning to appreciate the slow burn of a genuine connection. My understanding of my emotional intensity helps me recognise when my feelings might lean too far into obsession rather than companionship. While limerence can be intoxicating and exhilarating, it’s love that stands the test of time. I’m grateful for the lessons that both love and limerence have taught me. Each experience has shaped my understanding of relationships and what it truly means to connect with another person. 

Being in love is beautiful, it's a blend of passion, companionship, and deep-rooted affection, a feeling I will continue to nurture and cherish as we continue this journey, and learn and grow together.

We're in this together

A genuine relationship isn't about being perfect, it's about two flawed individuals who cling to each other through thick and thin. These days giving up is too easy. We’re in this together, always! And that means waking up on difficult days and choosing love even when it's hard to feel. It’s about fighting together, not against each other. Disagreements aren’t signs of failure more evidence that two people care enough to stand up for their love. Johnny a real relationship isn’t perfect!

It’s the chaotic moments that turn into lasting memories.

It’s the misunderstandings that improve your communication.

It’s the flaws that make you human and the love that elevates you.

You’ll see each other at your worst and still choose to stay. 

You’ll experience tears, anger, and doubts and still believe in “us.” 

You’ll learn to forgive more often than you judge and hold on tighter when life tries to pull you apart.

Real love is a choice made every day. When pride or ego tempts you to walk away, you choose patience and forgiveness.

When distance creates silence, you choose connection. When life gets tough, you shelter each other instead of letting the storm pull you apart.

A true relationship isn’t a fairy tale. It’s raw and unfiltered, filled with joy and pain. That’s what makes it beautiful and real. Love isn’t about finding someone who makes life easy but about finding someone who makes it worthwhile, never giving up on them, no matter how imperfect they or the road may be and taking love one day at a time. ❤️ 

When Was the Last Time

When was the last time someone saw you,  not just a glance, but a gaze that’s true?  

Deep in your eyes, as if you were gold,  the most precious thing that they'll ever hold.  

When did they touch your face, soft and light,  lean in to kiss you, as they whisper goodnight?  

With love poured out in such delicate art, in a moment where silence speaks louder than heart.  

When did you hear whispers, tender and clear,  “Baby, I love you,” you've nothing to fear?  

A connection so strong it silenced the noise,  a love that keeps growing, and fills you with joys.  

How often people settle for half-hearted calls,  holding on to the comfort, as loneliness stalls.  

Knowing deep inside, you’re meant for much more, such as a love that feels like home, where your spirit can soar.  

When the right person comes, they won’t let a day, pass without showing you in every single way,  

They'll  look at you like you’re starlight,

a kiss like the sea, use soft toned words saying, “You matter to me.”  

So hold on, dear heart, the love that you craved,  is here to say , just trust it, be brave.  

Now we're together, every moment just gleams, I have a love that fulfills me, and has answered my dreams ✨️ ❤️ 

By Maggie Martin 

Perfect doesn't exist

In this journey of life’s embrace, you may discover a love so true, a perfect partner, a soulmate to grace,  bringing warmth and joy in all that they do,  in laughter shared and moments combined,  a bond that feels magical, perfectly aligned.  

Yet amidst this beauty, an important truth lies,  to cherish each other, they must know themselves,  to confront the shadows that linger and rise,  to face past fears and heal wounds on the shelf,  for if they avoid this deep inner quest,  they risk straining the love they hold most dearest.  

To love fully, you must embark on a search,  to delve into your heart and confront what’s concealed,  for shadows born of past pain can lurch,  if left unaddressed, a grip is revealed,  in silence, burdens grow heavy and vast,  and misunderstandings linger,  presence steadfast.  

Healing isn’t mending what’s broken,  it’s growth and reflection, a brave engagement,  with courage to feel, to speak what’s unspoken,  to embrace emotions in honest arrangement,  in the light of truth, vulnerability shines,  and within that space, true selves align.  

If you neglect this path, old patterns may reign,  reacting to echoes of hurt, fear, and pain, creating a distance, leaving hearts inert,  but should you commit to explore and uncover, you'll transform yourselves, becoming much better lovers.  

For in knowing your heart, you learn to impart, feelings and fears in a way that is clear,  creating a haven where both can take part,  in sharing your thoughts, dissolving all fear,  trust blossoms gently, with hearts inline, in the rhythm of connection, love redefined.  

This journey reveals a partnership true,  where growth is a mission you both undertake,  with mutual respect, you’ll nurture anew,  as you grow, your love flourishes, for love demands that you strengthen your ties, supporting each other, side by side.

In this embrace, you'll find beauty in flaws,  accepting the truth that vulnerability brings,  when you learn to love without pause, you'll build a foundation on which love sings,  

hearts opened wide, to love without fear,  yearning to connect, always close, ever near.  

As partners, you rise on a journey of grace,  encouraging courage, facing fears hand in hand,  in a dance of support, finding warmth in each space,  building a bond that time cannot withstand,  through trials and challenges, together you'll thrive,  in the strength of union, spirits come alive.  

So lets take a bold step into the light,  into the depths of self-discovery,  for in sharing and growth, love becomes bright,  unlocking a realm that nurtures two souls, together, celebrating their way, building a strong connection, come what may.  

He

He reached for me in ways,  

that left my heart laid bare.  

He opened up a door, 

to the places I couldn't share.  

He whispered through my fears,  

uncovered what was mine,  

he drew me from the depths,  

to a place love brightly shines.  

He sank into my thoughts,  

and embedded under my skin. 

A dance of souls aligned,  

he touched my deepest parts,

where shadows used to dwell,  

and in that sacred space,  

he cast away my spell.  

Now breathless in the dark,  

a curtained bed takes flight,

he has my soul and heart,

throughout the day, into the night,

Seahorses

Seahorses in love greet with joyful delight,  swaying in the rhythm of morning's first light.  

Intertwined tails wrapped together in the sea, their dance transcends, just like you and like me,  

an “I love you ” whispered, full of joy as we beam,  changing hues of love, like a beautiful dream.  

We glide through our days, side by side in this flow, the currents of life teach us all we should know,  

Every soft glance, every touch, every sigh, we feel our heart race and our soul start to fly.  

Like seahorses basking in gardens of bliss,  we savour every moment, simple and sweet,  enjoying everything from laughter to tears,  building memories cherished through all of our years.  

For in every sunset, when life's tides start to sway,  we’ll dance through the silence, come what may,  

Two souls tightly sewn by love’s tender thread,  a bond that grows stronger, a light never shed.  

Let our love story be whispered with grace,  a tale of our journey, a shared, sacred space. 

For like those seahorses in ocean's embrace,  we'll cherish forever in this beautiful place.  

Life moves forward

I've been thinking about the people who have come and gone from my life, and I truly believe that not everyone who enters our lives are meant to stay. Sometimes, people leave, and when they do I feel it's essential to recognise their role in our journey has come to an end.

In the past I've found myself holding onto relationships that no longer served me, probably out of a sense of obligation or loyalty. But the truth is, when someone leaves your life, or you leave theirs, it's not because you or they're bad people. It's simply because their part in your story is over.

Letting go can tough. It's natural to feel loss or grief. I've learned, holding on just delays growth and prevents you from moving on. Every encounter I've had has value, it has shaped who I am and helped me grow. My destiny is mine alone, and no one can take it from me or walk the path that has been laid out for me. So when someone leaves, I trust that it's for the best. They were part of my story, but now the rest is for me to write, and holds even greater promise.

As I look back on the people who have left my life, I'm grateful for the lessons they taught me, the experiences we shared, and the memories we created together. But I'm also aware that their departure has allowed me to grow and evolve in ways that would have been impossible if they had stayed.

So if you're going through a time of transition or loss right now, I want you to know that you're not alone. It's okay to feel sad and scared when you navigate a new chapter of your life. Your destiny is yours, and no one can take that from you. That someone may have been part of your story, but now it's time for you to write the next chapter, one that holds even greater promise and potential. Who knows, their departure may create space for new opportunities, deeper connections, and the discovery of new aspects of yourself. 

Life is a journey, people will come and go, for whatever reason in whatever way, learn from every encounter and grow. We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams. Life moves quickly, live in the moment and trust the timing of your life. 

Staying Alive

I want to share a mantra that has guided me through the ups and downs of life: "Whatever happens, stay alive." It sounds so simple. Life is a journey, and it can sometimes feel overwhelming. I’ve learned that one of the most crucial things we can do is not to die before we’re dead. We often face challenges that make us feel lost, hopeless, or directionless. But amidst all the chaos, I remind myself to stay alive, not just in a physical sense, but to remain vibrant, engaged, connected with every part of myself and with life!

Staying alive means truly embracing life. I think it’s about learning, studying, thinking critically, reading, building new experiences, inventing solutions, creating art, speaking my truth, writing down my thoughts, dreaming big, and designing my own narrative. Each of these acts brings me closer to my core self and keeps my spirit alive. It’s not just about surviving life. It’s about thriving life, staying alive within myself and in the world around me. I make a conscious effort to fill my life with the beautiful experiences, positive people, captivating colours of existence. I seek to feel and give kindness, love, peace, happiness and cling to hope like a lifeline. It's incredible how much joy can be found when we choose to focus on the positive, even in tough times.

Life is precious, and there is one thing I refuse to waste, and that's life itself. Every moment is a gift, and it's up to us to cherish it. We can choose to let our experiences enlighten us or allow them to weigh us down. I choose to lean into the former, celebrating the unique experiences that makes up my life.

Wherever you are right now in your journey, I encourage you to stay alive! Fill your life with meaning, pursue your passions, and hold on to hope. Let joy seep into every corner of your existence. The only thing that shouldn't be wasted is life itself, make the most of it! 

Keep shining, keep dreaming, and whatever happens, stay alive. 

Maggie Martin

Love Like You Mean It

If you’re going to love, then love with all your might,  

Look them in the eyes, kiss them deep into the night.  

Let passion rise like flames, fearless and free,  

Embrace the tender moments, let your heart simply be.  

Love like tomorrow’s dawn might never break,  

Like this fleeting hour is all that’s at stake.  

See the wonder in their smile, the magic in their laugh,  

Hold them close and cherish your beautiful path.  

Love like there’s no one else, like they’re your lost treasure,  

A world within their touch, a universe of pleasure.  

Forget the ghosts of heartaches and the shadows of the past,  

Let every breath be proof that joy can always last.  

Love with ferocity, let your spirit ignite,  

For what else is there, if not this brilliant light?  

Reveal your heart’s true essence, let your guard down,  

In the mess of vulnerability, that’s where love will shine.  

Love with purpose, through the struggle and strain,  

Even when it’s hard, let kindness flow like rain.  

Choose to love each moment, in the ebb and in the flow,  

Through the trials and the triumphs, let your devotion show.  

So if you’re going to love, god damn it, love with grace,  

No half-hearted gestures, no longing to replace.  

Dive into the fullness, don’t hold back, don’t refrain,  

Just love and love and love, in joy and in pain.  

For in the end, it’s simple, a truth that can’t be bought,  

To love with all you are is the greatest lesson taught.  

So take this heart of yours, let it dance and soar,  

Just love and love and love, and never stop, evermore.  

By Maggie Martin 

My Dad

If you happen to glance,

as you pass,

you may notice,

on the wall,

a brass plaque laid on wood,

to mark where once stood, 

a man,

full of love,

full of faith,

in his favourite place,

the church.

Compassionate, 

family man,

kind eyes, 

huge smile,

stubborn as they come,

full of life,

full of fun,

would give you his last,

never asked,

for anything in return.

Though in stature small, 

he stood tall 

Stood up for his beliefs,

fought injustice,

stayed strong,

when things went wrong.

Full of integrity, 

full of strength,

a life lived well,

lots of stories to tell.

A man loved by many,

who knew,

he loved too.

Humble and kind.

He knew his own mind. 

Met bullies with a frown. 

And wouldn't back down.

Full of courage.

Full of zest.

My dad was the best.

So if you happen to see,

on a wall,

in the hall,

of the church, 

where he prayed,

spent his days,

a reminder of a man,

now gone,  

know in your heart,

his memory lives on.

By Maggie Martin 

Our Song

Our song isn't a song

Our song is a series of looks

It's a collection of laughs

A razor-sharp look inside each other;

That says "I hear what you hear"

Our song is the soft touch between skin

The scent we have come to know

A crazed obsession with how one another will interpret any (and all) stimuli

Our song is the longing

The gaps between eroticism

Leading to a connection to shatter galaxies

Our song is no music, no melody and no aria

Our song is each day.

Our song is heard between us. Today, tomorrow and always.

By Johnny Cordon 

This resonated with me...

"Don't teach your partner how to be your partner.

Don't ask them to text you throughout the day to check on your mental health. 

Don't ask them to make a reservation at your favourite restaurant unannounced. 

Don't ask them to make you a warm bubble bath after you had a long day after work. 

Don't beg them to acknowledge your existence. 

The right person will do all this and more. 

Find someone who has has always dreamt about having someone like you ever since they were a child. 

Find someone that shows you how much you truly mean to them with every day that passes. 

Find someone who not only says "I love you" but proves it to you with their actions.

Find someone who hurts other people's feelings to protect yours. 

Find someone who supports your dreams and life goals.

Find someone who knows it's not about giving you the world, but to only make you a priority in theirs. 

Find someone who chases you long after they already have you. 

Find someone who traces the valleys and crevices of your body with their fingertips to remember every detail about you when they miss you. 

Take my advice and wait for this person 

because the longer you entertain what's not meant for you

the longer you postpone what is."

"We are told too often to change who we are to find someone...

to settle for anyone. 

NO! 

Be YOU and the right person comes.

However...don't be afraid to communicate your needs. 

And if it happens naturally after that

I'd say it's just as magical. 

Find someone who WANTS to make you happy.

Find someone who will dance with you, if all you want to do is dance."

Here's the thing:

There are EIGHT BILLION PEOPLE on this planet.

STOP trying to bend ANY of them to fit what YOU want them to be.

Let 'em be who the fuck they ARE...

If it works, great.

If not, say thank you and move along.

The one who fits you? They're waiting.

And the one who fits THEM? They're waiting too.

Say thank you...and move along.

You're spending your own time, and your own energy, your own heart & soul in the arguing, the protesting, the pleading, the resistance...

You don't argue with a pair of gloves that doesn't fit...

stop arguing with humans who don't fit.

Not by Maggie Martin (but I completely agree)

Magnetic Whispers

Oh, Johnny, how I long for your spark,  

A magnetic force igniting the dark.  

You linger in my thoughts, I cannot refrain,  from wandering through dreams where your echoes remain.  

Our hearts in conversation, a rhythm in time,  Speaking in silence, each beat feels divine.  

When our lips meet sweetly, the room starts to sway,  Consumed by passion, the world fades away.  

A carnal dance, instinctively bold,  

Yet in every movement, a story unfolds.  

Sensual motions that feel sacred, refined,  in the depths of our yearning, it's true bliss we find.  

The desire between us, a wildfire embrace,  In a bed that we made, we find our own space.  

Skin pressed to skin, a moment so real,  in our tender cocoon, our souls freely heal.  

So here’s to missing your fire, your gleam,  to whispers of love, and the promises we dream.  

For when we are together, the world fades from view, Johnny, it’s you, just you, and it always been you.  

By Maggie Martin 

Time apart

In the quiet ache of night, my heart burns for you. This longing is carved deep into my being, and your absence lingers like a shadow, a haunting whisper of all that could be. I find myself yearning to know you more, to share in the mundane moments of daily life that bring smiles, and to dive into the depths where your soul breathes.

I long to discover the sacred chambers where your secrets lie. I crave the sound of your laughter, raw and unrestrained, as it becomes the language of everything that matters to us. I ache for the caress of your voice, wrapping around my name, and for the warmth of your skin, a fire against the cold expanse of distance that separates us. 

In my dreams, I find refuge with you. My dreams are vivid and alive, where passion ignites like stars colliding, and I can almost feel the ghost of your fingers tracing my spine, your lips mapping out a journey of hunger across my skin. These dreams are both my salvation and my torment, as they blur the line between desire and reality.

Even with the miles between us, I feel our connection, a bond forged by invisible hands. It's a thread that pulls me closer, always closer, until I am consumed with the need for you. I wait, caught in this space between the ache of now and the time when distance fades away.

I dream I can touch, taste, and completely lose myself with you. 

Until then, know that you occupy my thoughts and my heart, 

All my love,

Maggie

Waiting

I will wait,  

In the stillness of time,  

With echoes of your laughter,  

And the warmth of your smile.  

  

I am waiting,  

Through shadows and dreams,  

For the touch of your spirit,  

In the soft moonbeams.  

  

And I will love you,  

With a fierce, gentle fire,  

With all that I possess,  

You're my heart’s desire.  

  

Until this body turns to ash,  

And the stars call my name,  

I’ll search for you again,  

In the eternal flame.  

  

Through the valleys of silence,  

And the whispers of night,  

I’ll find you once more,  

In love’s endless light.  

By Maggie Martin