Once upon a lifetime ago

As a small child I was shy, painfully shy and didn't quite know how to interact with people. Human interaction didn't come naturally to me like it seemed to for others. Born one of life's introverts, people fascinated me, they still do, but as a small person finding out about life, I didn't quite 'get' them. 

Its taken me to the grand old age of 50 to realise my natural shyness along with my stubbornness (and tenacity) to overcome it, has been my life long superpower. Thank you Ann English https://annenglish.co.uk/ at Create Intrigue for leading me to discover this dazzling light-bulb moment! 

I babble, a bad case of verbal diarrhea my dad used to call it. Talking shit is a skill, and it's one I excel at it! I now realise this skill was born out of a childhood desire to be loud, outgoing and confident like my elder sister Helen, a natural extrovert. I massively looked up to my big sis growing up. We fought often, like most siblings do, but, as much as I'd never admit it then, I always thought she was the bees knees, she still is! She was loud, she was funny, she was outgoing; all the things I longed to be! I hated being shy, feeling secretly scared of stumbling words, or not knowing what to say and hiding in the shadows of my big sisters limelight. This is how the nervous babble began! - Rather than not speak, I just started to say the first thing that came into my head; whether it was relevant to the current conversation taking place was completely  irrelevant to me, it worked! People would look at me funny, sideways glances, like a confused dog; for me this felt a million times better than being silent or hiding in the shadows.

Me, fear, and my battles to overcome it have become a life-long tournament. Some conflicts I have lost, others I have won with greatness and glory. Exploring my 'justs' (you can check out Ann English website for further explanation of this), initially I thought stubbornness was my superpower, but peeling away curtains to reveal a naturally, quiet, shy inner child still hiding in the shadows, is where I discovered the source!

 

Most people who know me, or have met me will have experienced my babble at some point. I do it a lot! I doubt people will have recognised the babble was born from a place of fear, especially when its taken me this long to recognise it myself!

I would no longer describe myself as shy.  Like most things I do to stretch myself out of my comfort zone, it's made my comfort zone expand. My shy, inner child will always be there, but she is now accompanied by my wild, boisterous and free spirited child, who often comes out to play. 

My Superbabble has got me though many challenging situations! I often remark I'd rather say the wrong thing and apologise profusely than say nothing at all. I've used superbabble to put other people at ease, as well as myself. I have no doubt whatsoever it is just a coincidence my career over the last 25 years has involved supporting people to over come their fears or to find their voice. 

Maggie Martin 

Fearless Through Fear

Fear can show up as anger, frustration, blame. It can show up as confusion, isolation and shame. As we are travelling through a global pandemic, I feel fear rising all around, and at times within me. Constant change is currently in the driving seat. If I've learnt anything about living outside of my comfort zone, it's recognition that travelling with fear can show up as courage, confidence and strength. It can show up as passion, compassion, motivation.

I've always been good at motivating people into doing things that scare them. A smile, a good sense of humour, a little encouragement and leading by example, can travel quite a distance. Convincing a group of wild women to bare all for a charity calendar was the easy part. Pulling the whole project together has to be one of the scariest things I've ever done. I was so scared I'd let people who'd over come barriers, faced fears, given time, expertise and energy, down!

Right from the start everyone involved seemed to have an unwavering belief in me, no matter what I was going to make this happen! At the start I'd had unwavering belief in me! I didn't have a clue about photo shoots,  venue risk assessment, photography, web design, online selling platforms or the amount of work it would actually involve. I also didn't have a clue the whole world was about to change forever with the onset of a global pandemic. Right now, I'm pleased I didn't know any of this, if I had known I'd possibly never have started it! 

It was two separate meetings over coffee that kicked started the whole concept into a project. The first was with Rachel Mcphlumpa from RJM Photography, a hugely talented photographer, with an extremely generous offer of giving up her time and expertise completely free, the second meeting was with Alex MacLennan from Forestry England. These two incredible people showed full faith in my ability to carry out this project, with no evidence of any flickers of doubt! 

So I now had a photographer, our first venue, a Googled risk assessment and a tribe of willing participants! It was happening. The hardest part was ignoring any negative self talk. I kept telling myself - I can do this! These people believed in me, therefore I needed to believe in myself. My fear became my drive and motivation.

The first shoot in Kielder on a crisp Winters day in January 2020 was a huge success and February's combat themed woodland wild-camp shoot went without a hitch. March however saw the country go into lock-down and our plans of mass participation photo-shoots soon became distant memory. We didn't give up. Rachel came up with an idea to do lock-down selfies, and on Naked gardening day 2020 a number of willing wild women sent their creative creations to Rachel, who added the final edits.

When lock-down ended and restrictions allowed, our planned group shoots became individual ones. Stunning pics in stunning surroundings; as guidelines changed smaller group shots were carried out. It was still happening.

A final meeting with Rachel and Dan from DW Media put the icing on the calendar cake, with his very generous offer of website development and support around the management of an online shop. Dan sourced the printers and skillfully pulled all of Rachel stunning photos together with the quotes to complete the Wild Women Adventures Charity Calendar 2021. 

 

The calendar has pushed many people out of their comfort zones. It was fear of letting people down that fueled my motivation and drive.  

With everything that has been thrown at us this year, I am extremely grateful to every single person who has helped make this happen. We thrived! 

If there is ever a choice to survive or thrive, whatever is going on in life, I'm with the squirrel 🐿

By Maggie Martin 

Embrace your weirdness

I've always had a bit of a thing about labels, we can be so quick to put them upon ourselves, or others. I've done it myself, I often describe myself as a little bit different, or weird. I can be practically feral at times, crazy at others or just a bit quirky, they are all labels, right?

My youngest son was officially labled, at the age of eight, as having a disorder. Autistic Spectrum Disorder. To me he was just Sparky; (the nickname he has had since the age of two) bright as a button, hilariously funny, different, quirky. The word disorder didn't quite fit right for me, it suggested there was something wrong with him, this is far from the case. Sparky is brilliant, ok so I'm probably biased, I'm his mother, it's allowed, but he really is. He is 19 now and has just left home and gone to uni. He is sensible, smart, independent; gushing proud mother moment. 

As a family, me, three kids (all adults now) the dog and newest edition cat, we are all a bit different in our own special little ways, this is something I relish. Fitting in has never been a goal for me, I'd often say things like, "don't be a sheep, or, stand out and be outstanding," to the kids as they were growing up. It must have been difficult for them at times having such an out there, in your face, unashamelessly, quirky mother. I'm amazed how they have all turned out to be fully functioning adults, and pretty exceptional ones at that! 

Having a child who'd been given the label 'autism' was never looked upon by any of us as if there was something was wrong. If anything it was seen as a blessing, a gift of brilliance, and we wanted some of it! Autism envy!! Ok maybe that was just me. It's probably what's made me so aware of the labels we give or are given. 

Now a wise, old grandmother, I am delighted to see the clever, quirky, spirted family traits shining through the bright, wondrous eyes of my three grandchildren.  I see it in their smiles, their sense of wonder and fun. I hear it in their giggles, I love to hear their laughs. I can feel it so strongly in their love. 

There are many things I've learnt from life, if there was something I've learnt about me I would pass onto others about being different, it would be this;-

Not fitting in with the crowd has ever been something I've needed to fix, it's been my superpower. Embrace your weirdness.

By Maggie Martin 

Single with reluctance to mingle

I am definitely not a person of nervous disposition or someone who is held back by fear, but the thought of a modern day romantic relationship is a scary prospect for this 50 year old singleton. In relationships nowadays people seem to have become disposable, it takes just a swipe right, or is it left, (I'm not really sure as tinder for me is the dry, flammable material used for lighting fires), for hoards of readily available faces seeking some form of human connection - love, sex, whatever. Maybe looking for a life time of love but settle for an hour, an evening, an overnight.  Incidentally, what is it with dick pics! What type of deranged mentality thinks a dick pic is a good way to another's persons heart, or even their sexual organs for that matter?! I have often wondered if somewhere...anywhere in this crazy world we live in, if this has actually ever worked! "How did you two meet?" "Interesting story - I fell in love at the first sight of the cock pic he sent." "Oh wow, you too!" 

Whatever happened to a good old fashioned hello, or eye contact, that look across a crowded room with a small, please pursue this further smile. Does this even happen anymore?  

Dating is a minefield and by that I don't mean it's a blast!! I socially distanced myself from the whole dating/relationship thing long before social distancing became a thing!  I have often described myself as relationship phobic, which is much easier than explaining that deep down I'm really an old fashioned romantic who has been disappointed, disillusioned and disheartened by modern day attitudes towards love, commitment, honesty and trust. Relationships mean different things to different people. 

My current relationship status: single with reluctance to mingle. I decided for me just anyone won't do, just sex won't do and disposable definitely isn't for me. I know what I want from life, I know what I want from love I also know what I've got to give. 

Someone 

I want someone who gives me butterflies when I am going to see and spend time them.

Someone to share simple moments with like splashing in the sea, seeing shooting stars, an amazing view or share a sudden happy thought or memory with.

Someone I feel comfortable with to be myself with whether hyper, happy, sad, loud, quiet - whatever.

Someone who lights up at the mention of my name and isn't afraid to come give me a hug and show me or others how they feel. 

Someone I can share laughs with and conversations about life, love, dreams, aspirations, fears.

Someone who is honest and genuine and not afraid to say if they disagree and don't share my opinion.

Someone emotionally strong and independent. 

Someone to cuddle up in front of a fire with, listen to music with, get lost in the moment with.

Someone who will listen and support me to make my own decisions rather than tell me what to do.

Someone who wants to get to know me inside out.

Someone who will trust me to do my own thing and make my own mistakes.

Someone who loves and respects me and deserves all these things in return and more.

By Maggie Martin 

"Go for you want in life or you might spend your entire life settling for what you can get."

Single ❌

Taken ❌

Holding out for a hero ✔

Precious moments in time

This week I decided to cancel all my plans so I could take some time out to spend alone. I wanted to go exploring, not as in one of my usual adventures, I wanted to venture inwards, explore my thoughts and my feelings. So much has changed in my life over the past few months, I was feeling the need to put the brakes on, slow down, breathe and just take time to think. 

Attempting to sit in silence makes you realise the world isn't silent. This is something I knew already but rediscovered it in my Scottish quest for peace and quiet. Alone, staring out at the Sea from the top of a hill, just across the England/Scotland border, it was anything but quiet. Birds singing, cars roaring past in the distance, waves crashing. It was however pure bliss, switching the world off,  listening to all the different sounds and really paying attention to where my thoughts drifted. 

It was a warm day so I sat down to take in the sounds, the smells, the stunning views. My thoughts led me to think about how full my life has become, full of people, full of plans, full of activities, full of love, laughter, friendship. A wave of happiness and contentment filled my heart as the thoughts passed through. I was completely aware of my feelings and in that moment, I felt lucky, blessed and grateful all at once. My thoughts then drifted to my children, and my feelings changed to pride and an overwhelming sense of love. I had started the week with a sadness at the realization my youngest childs time had come to fly the nest, which felt heart wrenching painful even though I was happy in the thought he would be setting out on a journey and exciting adventure of his own.

My children have all grown into pretty amazing, independent, confident and fully capable adults, and though I will alway be their mother, and grandmother to their children, it hit me like a wetfish in the face - my parenting days were done. This immediately brought on a 'wow' moment and a deep intake of breath!

Thinking about their childhoods, then my childhood I started to appreciate time. How easy it has become for people in our modern world to lose hours on social media, or watching films or tv shows. I've always had a thirst for adventure and do my best to make every moment I have on this small blue planet count. Which I have to say at times, gets exhausting. I've learnt with age that taking time to be still, to think, to reflect, to appreciate, is still making the moments count. Life doesn't have to be at 100 miles per hour to be fully lived, in fact it needs to slow down at times to be fully appreciated. Peace and rest suddenly felt precious. I made the decision there and then to go home, have some real alone time and spend the rest of my week off work getting used to life at home - being just me and the cat.

I've spent the last few days thinking about what I like to cook, what I like to do, how I want my house to look, how I want to spend my time. I've slowed down, I've cancelled plans, I've spent time simply, I've enjoyed being alone, I've also enjoyed time being around people.  I've made an effort to be present, be aware of my feelings, my thoughts, my likes and dislikes. I've listened to music, I've sat silently, I've contemplated life and existence. I've started to rediscover who I am, where I am, what I've got and what I would like to happen next, whilst fully appreciating the moment I am in. 

 “Sometimes, you need to be alone. Not to be lonely, but to enjoy your free time being yourself.”

By Maggie Martin 

Real-life Invisible Superheros

Real-life Invisible Superheros 

Have you ever been asked as a kid (or an adult) if you could have any super power what would you choose? I always wanted to be invisible! Ok, this is probably because I am naturally inquisitive and wanted to know what people said and did when I wasn't around. I never thought I would actually get to meet a real life super hero, but over the last few weeks I have spoken to many, and they are all invisible!

Three weeks ago I was asked to develop and coordinate a process to ensure support would be available for the most vulnerable people from my home town during the pandemic. Over the last 21 days there have been plenty tears, both from joy as well as exhaustion and the odd moments of panic. But I have never been alone, I have an army of invisible superheros who all volunteered their time and effort to help people they didn't know or had never met. So far we have been able to meet every single request as it has come in. This is purely due to peoples generosity, compassion and human kindness.

These invisible superheros don't shout about what they are doing, they don't Facebook what they are doing, they just get on and do it. They have given reassurance, shopped for essentials, waited in queues for hours to pick up prescriptions for complete strangers. It may sound mundane, boring even but right now this is real life-saving stuff.  The relief when I speak to people who have been at their wits end, people who can't go out, people who are terrified by everything they see, read and hear about whats going on in the world.  Just to be able to tell them, it's ok, someone cares, someone wants to help, you are not on your own, that is massive!

These invisible superheros not only help with the physical tasks they bring comfort, reassurance, hope. Their motivation is simply to help, to make a difference to someones life, to do what needs to be done. They are using their superpowers and they are saving lives. It feels good to be in the position where there are more offers of support than requests for help, it's a good place to be - long may it continue!

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― haruki murakami

As much as I want this pandemic to be over, I have learnt so much from this experience. One thing I know one thing for sure - people are AMAZING! ❤ The NHS, the key workers, these invisible superheros that live amongst us. These people are my superheros.

Stay safe and look after each other. 🙏

by Maggie Martin

Surviving Social Distancing and Self Isolation Action Plan

As a rule, generally on a weekend and most evenings after work I am hardly ever at home. The great outdoors and adventure have pretty much always taken priority over most other things I've got going on in my life. Being stuck in today has given me lots of time to think. I've started to notice things that need doing around my home, things that I'd wouldn't usually give a second glance or thought too. It struck me the number of tasks I have put off for the sake of squeezing every drop of life in my ongoing quest and ravenous thirst for adventure! Today this darn coronavirus crisis has made me sit back, take stock, think and reevaluate my life!

So today is Mothers Day, and truth be told, it's been a really tough one.  I can't go to visit my mum, I can't go and see my children or my grandchildren. They are all self isolating. As much as I'd love to see and spend time with family right now, just the thought of  passing anything on to the people I love more than anything else in the world terrifies me! 

So far  I've tried my best to remain upbeat and positive throughout this whole situation, but spending Mothers day completely alone has taken it's toll and really got me down.

Counting blessings is usually my way of playing the 'get out of gloom jail free card, I have to say I am very grateful at nearly half a century old, before today I've never experienced loneliness. It actually took me a while to recognise and name the feeling.  It's made me realise just how lucky I've been to get to this point in life feeling loved, cared for, supported, always having someone to turn to and somewhere to go. It was the head shake I needed, just because I can't see my family today or for the foreseeable future, it doesn't mean they aren't there. Not everyone is this fortunate.

It struck me how quickly and easily social distancing and self isolation has had an affect on my mental health and well-being. I've decided, as with my life, my work, my adventures - I need a plan!

Being someone who always strives to think of the positive outcomes that can be derived from bad and grim situations, I've decided to use social distancing and self isolation to my advantage. From this day on I am using this darn coronavirus crisis as an opportunity to do all the things I generally don't get round to doing. I am making a list of all the things I usually avoid, overlook or put off for the sake of something more exciting. I'm devising my very own 'surviving social distancing and self isolation action plan'. I will be timetabling, prioritizing activities and tasks. I will be writing clear aims, objectives, key performance indicators and reviewing my progress along the way.

I have started making a mental note and already it's unbelievable the list of things I have put off doing around the home and garden. I know already I will need to be creative, resourceful and use my initiative.  I will also have to slow down, find ways to stay positive, plan in time to work out, take care of my body and health, limit my caffeine intake, call and speak to friends and family, be adaptable and adjust my coping strategy to fit with changing times.

Watch this space for regular progress reports!! Happy Mothers Day.

by Maggie Martin

Our grandchildren's grandchildren will listen to stories of the time the world stopped

Over the last few days I've encountered a growing sense of fear and unease. Wherever I've been people are talking about Coronavirus; Covid-19.  I haven't been able to escape it, it's everywhere - in conversation, on social media, on TV. With it comes an eerie, surreal feeling that life is about to change. It reminds me of being a child and listening to my Granddad telling me stories all about the war.

I distinctly remember thinking how scary it must have been, hearing the sirens, fearing death, the sight of destroyed buildings, devastation, corpses, body parts. Families clinging together under tables, in air raid shelters or being evacuated. Children being sent miles away from home, going to live with strange people in strange places. I couldn't even begin to imagine the fear, disruption, chaos and change it brought to peoples lives.

Back to today and life very suddenly has started to feel different! Streets, shops, shelves are emptier.  Faces scared to cough or sneeze. Fear of being observed by watchful strangers with hyper vigilant eyes. Face masks, disposable gloves, distinct smells of bleach in the air.

Then there are the people; the optimists, the pessimists, the blame-shame people, the lets rally around people and the live in a bubble people in complete denial that life as they know it will never be the same again. There is no way of knowing what's going to happen, how long this is going to last or the lasting effect it will have on our lives. The unknowing brings fear. Fear for love ones, fear for loss - loss of life, loss of business, loss of routine, loss of normality.  I am without a doubt in the 'life in a bubble' type category. I like life in my bubble, it feels safe there, it's a happy place. I clung on to hope and positivity for as long as I could before reality popped and the 'this is a bit shit' fan hit.

After an initial gulp, once that bubble pops there is no turning back moment, I started to think about my mum telling me stories about her being an evacuee, living on a farm and how she'd loved to ride on the backs of the pigs.  I remember all the things I loved about the war time stories my granddad told.  His tales always involved a sense of hope. Despite people being faced with real atrocities and fear for their lives, his stories were jam packed full of how resilient and resourceful people could be.

It's definitely time for me to face up to the reality that things have changed. There will come challenges along with these changes. Life has sent us its own adventure and there isn't enough emojis to acknowledge all the emotions going on for people all over this planet right now. Every day, every hour brings with it something new. It's time to grab hold of hope, become resilient, be resourceful and remember compassion, love and connection is the antidote to fear!

 History will remember when the world stopped

"This damn virus has already taken plenty lives. No more!! Let our legacy be we are kinder, braver, more considerate of others, more helpful, more co-operation between individuals & nations, more fairness, no more war threats, no more hatred, more power for the people not the rich, greedy or despots. In the end we are ALL the same to this virus - colour, creed, wealth, looks doesn't come into it. It will kill anyone anywhere. Once we have won this battle to survive, let us rise together as one united world, together, & let this invisible killer be our only enemy. " Marilyn Elizabeth Taylor

One way or another the world will get through this and our grandchildren's grandchildren will listen to stories of the time the world stopped.

by Maggie Martin

Finding Hope in a Coronavirus Crisis

After breathing a sigh of a relief that Brexit would no longer be the most used word in the English language, coronavirus pandemonium strikes full force! I never thought I would live to see the day toilet roll and hand gel would become more sought after than gold dust!

I've always been a big believer you can find a positive in any situation, no matter how grim. I have an agreeable disposition with fear, but the thought of self isolation triggered my panic button. I tried to comforted myself with visions of self isolation at the top of mountains, in forests, woodlands, anywhere but being stuck in the house! Alongside my relationship phobia (a whole blog topic in itself!) I even surprised myself that one of my deepest darkest fears was being stuck inside! It started me thinking about the number of times I've heard the words; "you must never be in!" - True story!

Usually I have such a positive outlook on life. I can truly say I am in love with my life. I got a parking ticket on Friday 13th, after my natural initial annoyance, I found the whole state of affairs quite exciting! The faceless voice at the end of the phone had said, I was without a doubt, the cheeriest person he had ever encountered calling to pay a parking fine. I'd been determined not to let it spoil my day. Like most crap situations in my life I turned it into an adventure. It's my coping strategy. Perspective is powerful! Controlling your thoughts and reactions to certain situations is important, I do this by reminding myself each and every single day; there is always a positive!

Anne Frank fled the Jewish Holocaust with her family, lived in hiding for two years, and was sent to a concentration camp where she died at the age of fifteen. Yet even in the throes of her suffering, the words she recorded in her diary were flooded with hope and positivity:

“I see the world being slowly transformed into a wilderness; I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too. I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquility will return once more.” Anne Frank

The number of times I talk about living in the moment, squeezing every drop from life, choosing positivity over fear, yet here I was starting to pre-empt cabin fever - just at the thought of self isolation! Cabin fever is not a disease as such, it's a claustrophobic reaction, manifested as extreme irritability and restlessness. It takes place when a person ends up stuck indoors. This describes me to a tee! As much as I do love my home - I'd never want to spend the majority of my time in it! Just the thought drives me stir crazy!

Even as a child I was always out exploring; in the woods, splashing in puddles, in rivers, climbing trees; losing hours outside playing; most people who know me now would say not much has changed! Being stuck in the house triggered my fear response much more than running out of loo roll! I had to find a positive.

As soon as I started looking, something changed; I noticed stories about people singing from their balconies. People creating groups on social media reaching out to people with offers of help. People showing love, care, compassion in the midst of the chaos, this filled me with hope.

Then I came across this;

Yes there is fear.
Yes there is isolation.
Yes there is panic buying.
Yes there is sickness.
Yes there is even death.
But, they say that in Wuhan after so many years of noise you can hear the birds again!
They say that after just a few weeks of quiet the sky is no longer thick with fumes but blue and grey and clear.
They say that in the streets of Assisi people are singing to each other across the empty squares, keeping their windows open so that those who are alone may hear the sounds of family around them.
They say that a hotel in the West of Ireland are offering free meals and delivery to the housebound.
Today a young woman I know is busy spreading fliers with her number through the neighbourhood so that the elders may have someone to call on.
Today Churches, Synagogues, Mosques and Temples are preparing to welcome and shelter the homeless, the sick, the weary.

All over the world people are slowing down and reflecting!
All over the world people are looking at their neighbours in a new way!
All over the world people are waking up to a new reality -
To how big we really are.
To how little control we really have.
To what really matters.
To Love.

So we pray and we remember...

Yes there is fear. But there does not have to be hate.
Yes there is isolation. But there does not have to be loneliness.
Yes there is panic buying. But there does not have to be meanness.
Yes there is sickness. But there does not have to be disease of the soul
Yes there is even death. But there can always be a rebirth of love.

Wake to the choices you make as to how to live now.
Today, breathe. Listen, behind the factory noises of your panic.
The birds are singing again. The sky is clearing, Spring is coming, and we are always encompassed by Love.

Open the windows of your soul and though you may not be able to touch across the empty square, Sing!

Fr. Richard Hendrick

Just as my fear button was pushed, there will be many different things that trigger fear in people in relation to the Coronavirus pandemic. Some will fear loss of money, others public spaces, getting sick, passing onto loved ones. A message from a dear friend with one lung and a "useless" immune system definitely put my fears into perspective! 

So, from now on I  am refusing to let fear steal my hope and joy. If I do have to stay in, I will use it as an opportunity to do all the things I put off, like decorating, cleaning, clearing, sorting.

Until then I will continue to catch as many sunrises and sunsets as I can, go on welly walks, climb mountains, splash in puddles, swim in the sea, enjoy campfires. I will continue to smile, laugh, play, find joy in every day adventures and love deeply my amazing relationship with life.

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”– Leo F. Buscaglia

by Maggie Martin

Empowered Women Empower Women

It was last year in the run up to International Women's Day 2019 I saw this quote; - "Empowered Women Empower Women!" It certainly wasn't the first time I'd seen the quote, it was however the first time reading it inspired me into action, and Wild Women Adventures was born. I wasn't actually sure what I wanted to achieve when I set up the group, to be honest I still don't, all I knew was that I wanted to plan opportunities for women to take a step out of their comfort zone, have fun, excitement, make new friends, support each other, feel stronger and become more confident.

Looking back, I am sure it wasn't a coincidence I created the group at a time I was starting to feel disempowered within my own life. This wasn't a feeling I had experienced before; hindsight is a powerful thing, and at the time I didn't fully understand the reasons for my frustrations. I now know, amongst other things, it was due to me feeling unable to use my skills and experience to their full potential.  It was awful, I knew I needed to find a source to redirect these horrible, uncomfortable feelings into something positive. Wild Women Adventures became this source.

The more frustrated I felt within my day to day life, the more adventurous the activities within my wild woman world became.

Wild Women Adventures was 1 Year Old on 8th March - International Women's Day. There has been so many things that have changed over the course of the year. I now have the freedom in my day to day life as well as in my wild women world to be creative, to grow and develop my own ideas, as well have the opportunity support and empower others to grow and develop theirs.

The wild women group has grown not just in size but also in personality, it has taken on a life of its own. As well as being a welcoming, safe, bright, positive and supportive space, there are so many women in the group planning their own events and activities, sharing their skills, sharing opportunities and experiences, sharing ideas and aspirations.

Our motto; When women support each other incredible things happen. This is definitely true. This last year has been an incredible year and the years ahead are full of many more adventures of all shapes and sizes.

https://adventureswildwomen.blogspot.com/2020/02/a-year-in-life-of-wild-woman.html

The things people have done, the achievements they have made, the courage they have shown, the support and encouragement they have given me, the support and encouragement they have given each other, fills me with joy, pride, fulfillment and satisfaction.

Wild Women Adventures Public Page

I am so proud to be a wild woman.

by Maggie Martin

Wild Women Naked Calendar

My sister once got me a framed quote for my wall, it says; "Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen." It's the very first thing I see when I walk though my front door. 

Amid conversations fueled by laughter and mugs of mulled wine during a Christmas wild camp in the woods, the idea of the Wild Women Naked Calendar was born. I can't even remember what brought about the conversation, but I knew instantly this was something I really wanted to make happen!

I'd noticed talk around negative body image a number of times in general conversation on various adventures. Women have become experts at finding faults with their bodies. It's no wonder, we all get bombarded with images that tell us our bodies are imperfect - too fat, too thin, too smelly, too wrinkled, too dimply, too soft. These messages seep under our skin, into our brains and it seriously messes with our self-esteem. And I mean seriously! - We would be hard pushed to meet a person, in a society where images of super models are photo shopped to perfection, who doesn't have body insecurities! On a Spanish adventure retreat, jam packed full of adrenaline fueled rock climbing, abseiling and caving activities, wearing a bikini was described as being the one of the biggest stretches out of peoples comfort zones and on a wild water adventure, there were similar conversations around squeezing in and out of wet suits being scarier than white water rafting!  

As with everything there is a choice, we can either spend our lives thinking my butt’s too big, too small, too flat, too dimply, too soft, or we can learn to appreciate our body just as it is. All things considered, this is definitely a lot easier said than done. 

“Our culture is obsessed with perfection, especially when it comes to the way women look. The parameters of acceptability as far as physical appearance go are so limiting that only a handful of women actually fall into this category. And the rest of us are left to either squeeze ourselves into molds that don't fit, hating ourselves all the while, or we just give up entirely.”
― Yancy Lael.

These thoughts had been going round my head for a while prior to the mention of the calendar, the second the calander was mentioned I knew it had to happen. We might not have whatever we think is the perfect body, but there is definitely a lot we can do to learn to love the body we are in. First step, lets face our fear.

I often tell myself self belief is the antidote to fear. There used to be a quote on the wall of a high school I once worked in; “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're probably right.”― Henry Ford I remember the first time I read it, it really struck a cord with me and has stayed with me ever since!  An impromptu skinny dip on a cold December evening completely sealed the deal.

The Wild Women Adventures naked calendar is our stand against socially constructed ideas of beauty, its about us facing our fears and pushing our comfort zones. It's about having fun, feeling liberated and supporting each other as well as two local charities along the way. It's about us learning to love ourselves, redefining beauty, being wild and feeling free.

Proceeds from the calander sales will go to FACT Fighting All Cancers Together and Northumberland Mountain Rescue. 

“Body acceptance means, as much as possible, approving of and loving your body, despite its “imperfections”, real or perceived. That means accepting that your body is fatter than some others, or thinner than some others, that your eyes are a little crooked, that you have a disability that makes walking difficult, that you have health concerns that you have to deal with — but that all of that doesn’t mean that you need to be ashamed of your body or try to change it. Body acceptance allows for the fact that there is a diversity of bodies in the world, and that there’s no wrong way to have one.”

― Golda Poretsky

An absolutely massive thank you goes to Rachel McClumpa from rjm-photography.co.uk and a tribe of strong, brave willing wild women for making this happen!

Photo shoot Number One

By Maggie Martin 

Wild Women Community

For those that don't know about the Wild Women Adventures community and want to know more here goes...😁👌 

Wild Women Adventures is an incredible community of women, being part of the group provides you with a wide range of opportunities from various sources. If you want to take a step into the unknown and do something out of your ordinary life, the wild women are here to share opportunities and give each other positive encouragement and support along the way!! Wild Women Adventures is not a business  it's a social group and a social space where we share opportunities to be daring, have fun and try  new things together.

Have you have ever wanted to challenge yourselves, try something new, do something completely different or has there been something you've always wanted to do but didn't have anyone to do it with, or support you through it....the wild women adventures community is for exactly that!
   

😁🙏 Although events are predominantly organised voluntary by group members, our wild women community isn't only for women seeking adventures - it's also for women who have activities, events or adventures to share! This is a community effort, we actively encourage sharing, so if you are a woman and have activities, events or opportunities for women to get involved in please feel free to join the group and share!! 

Adventure is an attitude, the group is not only for those seeking MASSIVE daring adventures like jetting off to climb the Himalayas or ski the Swiss Alps, there are women in the group who could point you in the right direction if this is what you're looking for, it's more about trying something new, it can be anything from taking part in a writing workshop, trying yoga, meditation to rock climbing, axe throwing, climbing mountains.  It doesn't always involve physical activities like coasteering and jumping off cliffs or getting naked and running in the sea on a freezing cold winters day at the end of a welly walk, (which I have to say was great fun).  There are so many opportunities to find something to do, we do everything from *welly walks to skydives! Don't worry if sky diving isn't your thing, it's not about forcing you to do things you don't want to do or pushing you so far out of your comfort zone it scares the life out of you. YOU are your own expert. - You know your comfort zones, you know what will help push you out of them and also what would tip you over the edge. You will find a whole range of different adventures, events, activities and it's your choice what you take part in, 

*Welly walks are social gatherings where we walk and chat rather than guided walks.

For our more adventurous mountain days and Spanish adventure retreats it goes without saying, (but I'm going to say it anyway) safety is paramount!! We use guided instruction from specialist outdoor organisation Roxcool. I've known Cliff from Roxcool for many years, as well as being a great friend who I trust implicitly, I know without any hesitation of a doubt Wild Women Adventurers will get the very best in support and encouragement as well as every consideration taken around safety and expert instruction guaranteed. 

 Mountain Adventure Days

"What you are paying for is first and foremost security in the event there is an accident, we don’t always use our waterproofs when we go out on a walk but if someone was to hurt themselves, a set of waterproofs could save lives and prevent the onset of hypothermia, having a guide can sometimes be like that. You are also paying for guidance on the route (pointing you in the right direction etc) and local knowledge and experience (learning new things etc). You are also paying for the privilege of being with a group, to have support should it be needed, craic along the way and the feeling of a ‘shared ‘experience." Cliff Lowther. 

You decide what you want to take part in. You can take a giant leap and push yourself all the way out of your comfort zone or take baby steps. - It's massive for some people just turning up on one of our adventures, and who can blame them! It's often coming to meet strange people, in strange places doing very strange things! Haha But boy oh boy, (or should I say woman), is it worth it!  Don't just take my word for it, come say hi, introduce yourself, ask any one of the wild women who have joined us on an adventure and they will tell you it can involve anything from a few hours of fun and laughter to a life changing experience. 

Wild Women Adventures Public Page

Once you've decided you want in, turning up takes one minute of brave! Within seconds you'll feel like part of the tribe!! Guaranteed. Life is for being wild, having fun, getting excited, living, adventuring!!

by Maggie Martin

Brene Brown Dare to Lead Training

As far back as I can remember I've had issues around being told what to do. If I am asked something more often than not I will quite happily and willingly do what I can. If I feel like someone is making demands on me or telling me what to do, instantly I feel my buttons being pushed. After I've stopped grinding my teeth to dust, picturing steam coming out my ears and my head exploding, it's likely my response will be a resounding no; not always through words, more likely through my behaviour in some shape or form. Even if I really like the person, it triggers something inside me. I'd never explored the reasons behind this.

When I am told what to do, this is what happens inside my head the instant that button is pushed; first my imagination goes into overdrive, I tell myself - they obviously think they are better than me, bloody cheek! - they think they know better than me, idiot! - fear/dread - oh no, they must think I'm the idiot, how dare they lack trust in my judgement, how dare they doubt my credibility, oh my goodness this must be what they say about me to others!!...and so on and so on. These thoughts trigger shame - I am stupid, I am worthless, I am not good enough. 

"Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough."
― Brené Brown

Shame is a gut-wrenchingly painful feeling. I've armored up to avoid the feeling, I've ended relationships to avoid the feeling, I've shunned friendships to avoid the feeling. I've arms lengthed people because they got too close; with no idea or understanding why. Two brilliant, thought provoking days of Brene Brown's Dare to Lead training, expertly facilitated by both Amber Farrier and Julie McVeigh completely blew my mind. I now know exactly what I've been battling against; when someone tells me what to do, the feeling I experience is shame. Over the last two days it has felt both difficult and liberating to rumble with vulnerability; it has to be my most brave and daring experience to date. Before leaving the training room with more knowledge around the research, more understanding of myself and a new set of skills, I would have easily picked a bungee jump or skydive over an uncomfortable and difficult conversation any day of the week! Brené Brown says she was raised to believe that vulnerability was a weakness, she learned you can't have true courage unless you open yourself up to vulnerability. I feel like I'm on the start of my journey. Guaranteed I will get this wrong as often as I get it right, but when I dive, I dive deep and I am going to give it my all. 

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”― Brené Brown.

I've built myself up, I've knocked my self down, I've shown myself the same love and compassion I would show to another, I've taken risks, I've learnt I will fall and I've been taught how to rise. 

I am wild

I am free

I love life

I am me

I fuck up

I let myself off

I get happy

I get cross

I am 100 miles per hour

I am sudden stop

I do love 

I do brave

I enter my cave

I listen

I learn

I take my turn

I am mum

I am gran

I am their super fan

I am lucky

I am plucky

I dare to lead with courage

by Maggie Martin