I love you

If I died tonight I'd want you to know I feel happy and fulfilled. I've lived a great life full of love, full of laughter, full of adventure. 

I feel blessed for the family I was born into and equally as blessed for the family I have created.  I feel extremely proud of the adults my children have become. And my grandchildren have filled me with pure love and joy.  

To my children and grandchildren - always believe in yourself and know that you are loved. When you see a red sunset, I want you to think of me, let it fill your heart with joy not sadness. Life is for living and laughing and loving. Life is short. Dont be sad I've gone, be happy I lived, and lived life well. Take comfort in knowing I already know the unspoken words, and the things you wished you'd said and that I love you now and always will. 

I've never wanted much in this life and I've appreciated everything I've had. I feel blessed. I've loved my life, the experiences, the people I've met along the way and the places I've seen. 

I've felt love, immense passion and pain. I've laughed happy tears. I've cried from a broken heart then learnt to laugh and love once again. I am grateful for the lessons and hold no grudges. 

Any regrets? Things I didn't do, chances I didn't take, not finding the guts to say I love you when I've felt it or tell people how amazing I think they are when I've thought it, or how happy, lucky, special they've made me feel. 

To my friends - just know I've appreciated each and every one of you. I've valued your advice, your support, our times spent laughing, and having fun. Thank you sharing you hugs giving comfort and strength at the times I've needed it most.

I hope I am lucky enough to carry on living and wake to see another day. 

Don't ever forget...

I love you 😁❤

Just in case.

by Maggie Martin 

Fairytales

Once upon a time there was a handsome Prince who ruled over the land with kindness and compassion. He was adored by all who met him, his face brimmed with joy and kindness and his heart poured with love. The people were happy and content, life was good. 

Now you are probably expecting the story to change to the bit something bad happens; monsters, evil demons and wicked witches coming to cause destruction, cast spells that turn the light to dark...before the handsome Prince swoops in, saves the day and we all live happily ever after. 

I often wonder if I am weird because I don't want my happiness to depend on someone swooping in to save me, fight my demons or break any bad spells in my life. Neither do I want to spend precious now's worrying something bad is about to happen ahead, when here in the now, things are good!

Being single is not always easy living in a society geared up for couples, fairytale Princes and happy ever afters. I often feel surrounded by societal messages telling me the key to being happy is to be successful, be in a relationship, have a great job, be beautiful, have a banging body. - Whooah, no pressure! 

A single status brings with it expectations and 'must be' assumptions. I am 50 and single, therefore - I must be lonely, must be looking, must be lacking,  must miss out on intimacy, must miss out on companionship, must be damaged, must be desperate, must be broken, must be a lesbian, must be weird. I've heard them all!  

Note to self: I must not get concerned about opinions, expectations or assumptions of others. I'm not searching for something or someone, or looking to fill a void.

There is a lot to be said for living life in the moment and appreciating where me and my life are right now... I am happy, healthy, feel both loved and love, I have friends, fun and laughter, food, clothes, shelter, warmth, adventure.  I am not judging the way others live their lives, I am far to busy concentrating on living and loving mine!

As for my future I am always open to new experiences, new people, new relationships, new places and new things happening in my life. I'm not sacrificing a happy now for a happily ever after. I have no set plan, agenda or picture of how my life should be, I am winging it as I go and doing my best to be grateful for everything that makes me happy. 

By Maggie Martin 

You can't feel the joy of sunshine without a sprinkling of rain.

Happiness to me is a vast, excitable bubbling ball of vibrant energy exploding with stars from the pit of my stomach. I can feel the colours, taste the vibrations and see the music it makes. 

Feeling happy is awesome and awe is a powerful human emotion! People fill me with awe, as do places, stars, sunsets, rainbows, the moon; it's those things stop me in my tracks, wide eyed with wonder and make me exclaim, "WOW!" 

Feeling grateful,  thinking about the things and people I feel lucky to have in my life is an instant mood booster, but happiness is not a stand-alone feeling, it's a comparative emotion. You can only measure happiness against sadness. Without sadness happiness would have no meaning. I have found gratitude a great way of bottling happiness and saving it up for the sad times in life when I need it most.

I recently felt deep sadness after hearing the news someone, who had only touched my life for a short time, had taken their own life. Someone I'd been meaning to message, but not wanted to bother, someone who had crossed my mind, that very same morning of the day I'd heard they had died. This was someone who had instantly filled me with awe, from the very first moment we met.

Immediately I felt engulfed with sadness, pain and regret. It was gratitude as well as attitude that later brought me comfort. I feel lucky for the short time we shared, for the tales he told, the laughter, the experiences - singing songs round the campfire, getting drunk, eating caterpillar cake and skinny dipping under the stars in the darkness of night. 

For whatever reason, he decided to end his suffering. I will always appreciate his time in my life, he made an impact on me that will last. 

Time has taught me well - without those elements of sadness in life, those explosions of extreme joy and happiness could never be measured. For that I am grateful. 

"The stars that shine the brightest are the ones with the shortest lives. The death of a single star outshines everything in the galaxy."

Rest in peace.

By Maggie Martin