Risking it all..

When it comes too matters of the heart I chose long term gratification over short term gains. I trust my instincts enough to know when it's the right time, and the right person, I am willing to risk it all. 

I choose to wait over loving small
Settling is not an option
No half measures 
No temporary pleasures
When the time is right
I'll give it my all

I'll bring with me passion 
fire and flame
One to run wild with
not one to tame
I'll bring with me laughter
fun and joy
Midnight escapes
Adventures ahoy
I wont kill you with kindness
or trick you with lies
Theres a fire that burns brightly
behind these blue eyes

My heart was once captured
and love grew immensely
Took over my head
I felt love so intensely
Stolen moments of pleasure
brought with it such pain
but it taught me I can sing
and dance in the rain

So I'll choose to wait
I'm not in a hurry
My life is full
so I've no need to worry

If the time comes
and it feels right
I'll unlock the key
I relight the fire
I'll welcome love in
I'll feed the desire 

I'd be more than happy 

to give it my all
and take the risk 

of facing a fall

So if you're not sure
then I'm not your one
Don't come and mess with my heart
If you're just after some fun 

I don't want games

I don't want lies

I want someone with passion 

behind their eyes
I chose to wait over loving small
with someone also willing to risk it all

By Maggie Martin 

With you in the Silence

I close my eyes and listen to the breeze, birds singing, traffic sounds from somewhere far in the distance, trees rustling, noises stealing the silence of the moment, senses atingle. I am fully aware of the warmth of the sun on my skin, the slight gust of the wind through my hair and a strong smell of wild garlic.

Completely lost in the moment, thoughts flowing freely in and out of my mind, aware of all my feelings at once and aware where in my body I feel them, from contentment to bliss, switched in everywhere, from the pit of my stomach to the tiny hairs on the back of my neck. 

Love, joy, happiness; glowing, energy is racing through my veins, pouring from my fingertips, from my toes, from my heart, into my head. Ecstasy, engulfing me entirely, fully alive and fully aligned with the earth, from the ground to the sky. Lost somewhere in timeless bliss.  Vibrant colours, shapes and patterns dancing behind closed eyes.

The world outside falls silent, and just for an instant you're here with me. Wrapping your arms around me, feeling your warmth, your love, I'm home, I'm safe. I stay for as long as my thoughts allow and silence is gone. 

Almost at once I feel all my senses return, the ground below me, the sounds in the sky above me, pins and needles, tingling through my fingers and toes, I can hear myself breathing, I touch my heart to feel you once more. 

I am ready... I open my eyes. 

By Maggie Martin 

I love you

If I died tonight I'd want you to know I feel happy and fulfilled. I've lived a great life full of love, full of laughter, full of adventure. 

I feel blessed for the family I was born into and equally as blessed for the family I have created.  I feel extremely proud of the adults my children have become. And my grandchildren have filled me with pure love and joy.  

To my children and grandchildren - always believe in yourself and know that you are loved. When you see a red sunset, I want you to think of me, let it fill your heart with joy not sadness. Life is for living and laughing and loving. Life is short. Dont be sad I've gone, be happy I lived, and lived life well. Take comfort in knowing I already know the unspoken words, and the things you wished you'd said and that I love you now and always will. 

I've never wanted much in this life and I've appreciated everything I've had. I feel blessed. I've loved my life, the experiences, the people I've met along the way and the places I've seen. 

I've felt love, immense passion and pain. I've laughed happy tears. I've cried from a broken heart then learnt to laugh and love once again. I am grateful for the lessons and hold no grudges. 

Any regrets? Things I didn't do, chances I didn't take, not finding the guts to say I love you when I've felt it or tell people how amazing I think they are when I've thought it, or how happy, lucky, special they've made me feel. 

To my friends - just know I've appreciated each and every one of you. I've valued your advice, your support, our times spent laughing, and having fun. Thank you sharing you hugs giving comfort and strength at the times I've needed it most.

I hope I am lucky enough to carry on living and wake to see another day. 

Don't ever forget...

I love you 😁❤

Just in case.

by Maggie Martin 

Fairytales

Once upon a time there was a handsome Prince who ruled over the land with kindness and compassion. He was adored by all who met him, his face brimmed with joy and kindness and his heart poured with love. The people were happy and content, life was good. 

Now you are probably expecting the story to change to the bit something bad happens; monsters, evil demons and wicked witches coming to cause destruction, cast spells that turn the light to dark...before the handsome Prince swoops in, saves the day and we all live happily ever after. 

I often wonder if I am weird because I don't want my happiness to depend on someone swooping in to save me, fight my demons or break any bad spells in my life. Neither do I want to spend precious now's worrying something bad is about to happen ahead, when here in the now, things are good!

Being single is not always easy living in a society geared up for couples, fairytale Princes and happy ever afters. I often feel surrounded by societal messages telling me the key to being happy is to be successful, be in a relationship, have a great job, be beautiful, have a banging body. - Whooah, no pressure! 

A single status brings with it expectations and 'must be' assumptions. I am 50 and single, therefore - I must be lonely, must be looking, must be lacking,  must miss out on intimacy, must miss out on companionship, must be damaged, must be desperate, must be broken, must be a lesbian, must be weird. I've heard them all!  

Note to self: I must not get concerned about opinions, expectations or assumptions of others. I'm not searching for something or someone, or looking to fill a void.

There is a lot to be said for living life in the moment and appreciating where me and my life are right now... I am happy, healthy, feel both loved and love, I have friends, fun and laughter, food, clothes, shelter, warmth, adventure.  I am not judging the way others live their lives, I am far to busy concentrating on living and loving mine!

As for my future I am always open to new experiences, new people, new relationships, new places and new things happening in my life. I'm not sacrificing a happy now for a happily ever after. I have no set plan, agenda or picture of how my life should be, I am winging it as I go and doing my best to be grateful for everything that makes me happy. 

By Maggie Martin 

You can't feel the joy of sunshine without a sprinkling of rain.

Happiness to me is a vast, excitable bubbling ball of vibrant energy exploding with stars from the pit of my stomach. I can feel the colours, taste the vibrations and see the music it makes. 

Feeling happy is awesome and awe is a powerful human emotion! People fill me with awe, as do places, stars, sunsets, rainbows, the moon; it's those things stop me in my tracks, wide eyed with wonder and make me exclaim, "WOW!" 

Feeling grateful,  thinking about the things and people I feel lucky to have in my life is an instant mood booster, but happiness is not a stand-alone feeling, it's a comparative emotion. You can only measure happiness against sadness. Without sadness happiness would have no meaning. I have found gratitude a great way of bottling happiness and saving it up for the sad times in life when I need it most.

I recently felt deep sadness after hearing the news someone, who had only touched my life for a short time, had taken their own life. Someone I'd been meaning to message, but not wanted to bother, someone who had crossed my mind, that very same morning of the day I'd heard they had died. This was someone who had instantly filled me with awe, from the very first moment we met.

Immediately I felt engulfed with sadness, pain and regret. It was gratitude as well as attitude that later brought me comfort. I feel lucky for the short time we shared, for the tales he told, the laughter, the experiences - singing songs round the campfire, getting drunk, eating caterpillar cake and skinny dipping under the stars in the darkness of night. 

For whatever reason, he decided to end his suffering. I will always appreciate his time in my life, he made an impact on me that will last. 

Time has taught me well - without those elements of sadness in life, those explosions of extreme joy and happiness could never be measured. For that I am grateful. 

"The stars that shine the brightest are the ones with the shortest lives. The death of a single star outshines everything in the galaxy."

Rest in peace.

By Maggie Martin 

The Storyteller...

"I live life small!!!...the words fell from my mouth with no real thought. I'd been listening to someone who has certainly seen a lot of the world! They were talking about places they'd travelled, describing them as if they were close friends, talking about adventures in Countries I've no knowledge of at all. I'm completely mesmerised, engrossed, present yet lost in the moment. Listening to their big adventures suddenly made my world feel extremely small in comparison.

I live and breathe adventure! I see it and feel it everywhere... it's hard to describe the feeling an adventure brings me, it's like an energy that starts building deep in the pit of my stomach. It's a brilliant feeling, like a wild, nervous excitement. It quickly starts to grow and travel... throughout the whole of my body, along my arms, reaching my fingertips, down to my toes, till sunbeams burst across my face. It's a childlike feeling, electricity, magic, escape!

Sometimes I get this feeling when people talk about places they've been, things they've seen, their stories spark my imagination and in my head it feels like I am reliving their experiences with them, the same wild, excited, nervous energy born from tales of their memories, their joy, their adventure! 

I've always liked stories, fact, fiction, doesn't matter - as long as it takes me on a journey. I love hearing great storytellers, people who could set even the smallest imagination on fire. I listen in awe of their talent. I can talk a lot, babble even, yet there is still so much that goes on inside my head, things I've never voiced as I don't have or I can't find the right words to describe these thoughts out loud. This is probably why I see storytelling as a true gift and appreciate those special and magical people who can do it well - changing peoples emotions, inciting their intrigue, setting alight their thoughts and feelings, sometimes without even realising their words have taken others along for the ride!

Everyone has their own unique take on reality. I've often been told I'm a bit of a daydreamer. I am consciously aware I live in a different world to other people, quite a lot of the time! I switch off really easily and can get completely swept away by my imagination. Although this is fun at times and a brilliant strategy for dealing with lifes somewhat challenging situations, it can be quite exhausting. It can take effort and lots of concentration to stay switched on.  So when someone grabs my attention and it feels effortless to just relax and listen to them skillfully painting pictures with words, it can feel pretty special. Storytelling is a real art.

"You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone's soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose. That tale will move them and drive them and who knows that they might do because of it, because of your words. That is your role, your gift." Erin Morgenstern

By Maggie Martin