Once upon a lifetime ago

As a small child I was shy, painfully shy and didn't quite know how to interact with people. Human interaction didn't come naturally to me like it seemed to for others. Born one of life's introverts, people fascinated me, they still do, but as a small person finding out about life, I didn't quite 'get' them. 

Its taken me to the grand old age of 50 to realise my natural shyness along with my stubbornness (and tenacity) to overcome it, has been my life long superpower. Thank you Ann English https://annenglish.co.uk/ at Create Intrigue for leading me to discover this dazzling light-bulb moment! 

I babble, a bad case of verbal diarrhea my dad used to call it. Talking shit is a skill, and it's one I excel at it! I now realise this skill was born out of a childhood desire to be loud, outgoing and confident like my elder sister Helen, a natural extrovert. I massively looked up to my big sis growing up. We fought often, like most siblings do, but, as much as I'd never admit it then, I always thought she was the bees knees, she still is! She was loud, she was funny, she was outgoing; all the things I longed to be! I hated being shy, feeling secretly scared of stumbling words, or not knowing what to say and hiding in the shadows of my big sisters limelight. This is how the nervous babble began! - Rather than not speak, I just started to say the first thing that came into my head; whether it was relevant to the current conversation taking place was completely  irrelevant to me, it worked! People would look at me funny, sideways glances, like a confused dog; for me this felt a million times better than being silent or hiding in the shadows.

Me, fear, and my battles to overcome it have become a life-long tournament. Some conflicts I have lost, others I have won with greatness and glory. Exploring my 'justs' (you can check out Ann English website for further explanation of this), initially I thought stubbornness was my superpower, but peeling away curtains to reveal a naturally, quiet, shy inner child still hiding in the shadows, is where I discovered the source!

 

Most people who know me, or have met me will have experienced my babble at some point. I do it a lot! I doubt people will have recognised the babble was born from a place of fear, especially when its taken me this long to recognise it myself!

I would no longer describe myself as shy.  Like most things I do to stretch myself out of my comfort zone, it's made my comfort zone expand. My shy, inner child will always be there, but she is now accompanied by my wild, boisterous and free spirited child, who often comes out to play. 

My Superbabble has got me though many challenging situations! I often remark I'd rather say the wrong thing and apologise profusely than say nothing at all. I've used superbabble to put other people at ease, as well as myself. I have no doubt whatsoever it is just a coincidence my career over the last 25 years has involved supporting people to over come their fears or to find their voice. 

Maggie Martin 

Fearless Through Fear

Fear can show up as anger, frustration, blame. It can show up as confusion, isolation and shame. As we are travelling through a global pandemic, I feel fear rising all around, and at times within me. Constant change is currently in the driving seat. If I've learnt anything about living outside of my comfort zone, it's recognition that travelling with fear can show up as courage, confidence and strength. It can show up as passion, compassion, motivation.

I've always been good at motivating people into doing things that scare them. A smile, a good sense of humour, a little encouragement and leading by example, can travel quite a distance. Convincing a group of wild women to bare all for a charity calendar was the easy part. Pulling the whole project together has to be one of the scariest things I've ever done. I was so scared I'd let people who'd over come barriers, faced fears, given time, expertise and energy, down!

Right from the start everyone involved seemed to have an unwavering belief in me, no matter what I was going to make this happen! At the start I'd had unwavering belief in me! I didn't have a clue about photo shoots,  venue risk assessment, photography, web design, online selling platforms or the amount of work it would actually involve. I also didn't have a clue the whole world was about to change forever with the onset of a global pandemic. Right now, I'm pleased I didn't know any of this, if I had known I'd possibly never have started it! 

It was two separate meetings over coffee that kicked started the whole concept into a project. The first was with Rachel Mcphlumpa from RJM Photography, a hugely talented photographer, with an extremely generous offer of giving up her time and expertise completely free, the second meeting was with Alex MacLennan from Forestry England. These two incredible people showed full faith in my ability to carry out this project, with no evidence of any flickers of doubt! 

So I now had a photographer, our first venue, a Googled risk assessment and a tribe of willing participants! It was happening. The hardest part was ignoring any negative self talk. I kept telling myself - I can do this! These people believed in me, therefore I needed to believe in myself. My fear became my drive and motivation.

The first shoot in Kielder on a crisp Winters day in January 2020 was a huge success and February's combat themed woodland wild-camp shoot went without a hitch. March however saw the country go into lock-down and our plans of mass participation photo-shoots soon became distant memory. We didn't give up. Rachel came up with an idea to do lock-down selfies, and on Naked gardening day 2020 a number of willing wild women sent their creative creations to Rachel, who added the final edits.

When lock-down ended and restrictions allowed, our planned group shoots became individual ones. Stunning pics in stunning surroundings; as guidelines changed smaller group shots were carried out. It was still happening.

A final meeting with Rachel and Dan from DW Media put the icing on the calendar cake, with his very generous offer of website development and support around the management of an online shop. Dan sourced the printers and skillfully pulled all of Rachel stunning photos together with the quotes to complete the Wild Women Adventures Charity Calendar 2021. 

 

The calendar has pushed many people out of their comfort zones. It was fear of letting people down that fueled my motivation and drive.  

With everything that has been thrown at us this year, I am extremely grateful to every single person who has helped make this happen. We thrived! 

If there is ever a choice to survive or thrive, whatever is going on in life, I'm with the squirrel 🐿

By Maggie Martin